April 1, 2026  • By Dennis Beaver

“Mr. Beaver, unlike a lot of older Americans, my parents do not fear retirement, because they realize the physical demands on their bodies from running the family farm are now too much for them,” wrote “Roy” in his email.

“Over the past several months, I’ve given them several so-called ‘bestsellers’ on retirement advice. Books that proclaim, ‘This is the only book you’ll ever need,’ and that overflow with charts, formulas and enough gobbledygook to replace sleeping pills! Mom and Dad didn’t read any of them.

“Do you know of something that is different, that they will enjoy reading and that will actually help them through this next stage of their lives?”

Yes, I do indeed, and a few days before hearing from Roy, I had the pleasure of speaking with the authors of a retirement book that is like no other. No, Your Retirement Sketchbook is something else entirely that folks looking at retirement have needed for a long time.

The authors, Jamie Hopkins and Bonnie Treichel, are not your typical financial writers (they are also Kiplinger.com contributors). Hopkins is a Wall Street Journal bestselling author, attorney and CFP®. Treichel, also an attorney, is a nationally recognized retirement expert and educator.

What I find remarkable is their ability to translate complex concepts into plain English without dumbing anything down — they do this in their book, and they did it during our Zoom interview.

A retirement book that doesn’t lecture or scold readers

Many of the retirement books I’ve read talk at you, often leaving readers feeling overwhelmed, guilty or convinced they’re behind.

Your Retirement Sketchbook is different. It’s visually engaging, easy to navigate and written in a tone that feels more like a conversation than a lecture.

Your Retirement Sketchbook talks with you, in a visual form, as a workbook and not a textbook. Instead of long chapters, there are short, manageable lessons — each only a page or two and designed to trigger thought and evaluation. Readers can avoid feeling the all-too-familiar “Oh my God, we haven’t done this” panic.

The tone is conversational. You feel like you’re sitting with two knowledgeable professionals who are listening to you and who understand that retirement planning is as much emotional as it is financial.

Literally hands-on and thought-provoking

As the title indicates, Your Retirement Sketchbook is a workbook, with prompts, questions, spaces to write and exercises that help you think through what you actually want your life to look like after you stop working. What will your goals be then?

These goals — not investment goals, your life goals — matter more than many people realize. For example:

• Where do you want to live?
• How do you want to spend your time?
• Who do you want to spend your time with?
• What do you want your typical days to look like?

Many retirement books avoid these questions, seeming to assume that if you get the math right, the life part will magically fall into place. But experienced financial planners will tell you that the math is the easy part. The hard part is figuring out what you want your life to be.

That’s where Your Retirement Sketchbook really comes through. In a subtle, at times humorous way, it encourages you to think about the things that actually matter.

The authors walk readers through the emotional transition from a structured work life to an unstructured retirement — something many people underestimate until they’re living it.

What can derail an otherwise sound retirement?

My office has represented many physicians who did not have to retire when they did — despite my urging them not to — and who had nothing waiting for them in the wings.

After months of watching Netflix, several were bored out of their minds and fell into a serious depression. They were proof that the biggest challenges are often psychological.

The authors list these four challenges as among the most serious that derail retirements, not whether someone chose the right mutual fund:

• Loss of identity
• Loss of routine
• Loss of purpose
• Loss of social connections

Many retirement books devote most of their pages to money and little to the emotional side of retirement. Your Retirement Sketchbook views emotional readiness as being as equally important as financial readiness.

The authors stress that retirement is a major life transition requiring introspection, planning and honesty with yourself and your family.

What makes this book so different?

I suspect there is something about the authors — both experienced trial attorneys — that has had a major impact on how this wonderful little book came into existence.

Practicing law is an exercise in discovering the intricacies of the human condition — what makes us tick, and it is a lot more than numbers in an investment account.

The authors recognize that folks looking toward retirement need confidence and a sense of purpose. They help readers design a retirement that reflects their values, dreams and priorities by getting them to devote time to think about these issues and, in sketchbook form, write them down.

If you’re looking for a book that will tell you the percentage of your portfolio that should be in bonds, this isn’t it. But if you want a book that will help you understand yourself, your goals and the kind of life you want to build in retirement, this is one of the best resources available that I have found.

In a world full of retirement books, many of which tend to sound the same, Your Retirement Sketchbook is truly different. Many retirement books make you fear running out of money. Few caution you about running out of purpose.

Dennis Beaver Practices law in Bakersfield and welcomes comments and questions from readers,
which may be faxed to (661) 323-7993,
or e-mailed to Lagombeaver1 – at – Gmail.com.

The post Your Retirement Needs a Sketchbook, Not Just a Spreadsheet: This Book Focuses on Your Life Goals Rather Than the Math appeared first on Dennis Beaver.

March 3, 2026  • By Dennis Beaver

“Vincent’s” tone of voice sounded urgent: “Mr. Beaver, I run a construction company in the Pacific Northwest, and we are facing a situation that I hope you can help us with.

“I’ve read your column in Kiplinger for years and recall two stories where you pulled rabbits out of a hat, convincing people to do the right thing.

“In one, you persuaded a badly near-sighted carpenter to get a pair of eyeglasses (Can an Employer Fire an Employee for Not Wearing Glasses?), and in the other, a married father with a young daughter refused to wear a motorcycle helmet (Employee Refuses to Wear a Motorcycle Helmet: Can He Be Fired?). You spoke with him, and he actually sold the bike!

“I hope you can work your persuasive magic with ‘Nicole,’ our wonderful-to-work-with 45-year-old crane operator. She has hearing aids but won’t wear them! Adequate hearing is crucial for recognizing warnings, such as horns, sirens and shouted instructions, on noisy job sites.

“Nicole is becoming a risk to other employees who work with her. Her family tells me about serious communication issues at home, and she is the family’s breadwinner, earning over $80,000 a year. Finding a high-paying job like hers, in our area, isn’t easy.

“Maybe you can get through to her — and, by the way, everybody in the office, including Nicole, reads your column, because I print each week’s story and leave it in our break room, so you would not be a stranger to her. You are my last hope.”

I agreed to try, but first I needed to understand the dynamics of someone in Nicole’s shoes and find out how I could enlist her family as a tool for change.

For the record, simply having a hearing impairment is not grounds for termination under the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA), but that protection is not absolute. An employer could fire a crane operator for refusing to wear hearing aids if it created a “direct threat” to safety that cannot be eliminated through reasonable accommodation.

How do you motivate someone with a hearing problem to get help?

I spoke with Dr. Greta Stamper, a clinical and research audiologist and chair of the Audiology Division at the Mayo Clinic in Jacksonville, Florida.

“How do you begin the conversation with someone who might or might not recognize their hearing problem?” I asked her. “Also, how do you motivate them to get help, or even wear hearing aids if they already have them?”

“The problem needs to be identified before there can be any motivation to do something about it,” she said, and suggested an approach using these or similar questions:

• Have you noticed that you are struggling to hear me or don’t notice when the microwave beeps?

• Remember last week at the meat market when they called your name, but you didn’t respond?

• When we are watching TV, you turn the volume really high and use closed captioning. You never did this before. Why do you think you do it now?

“Once you have their attention,” Stamper said, “if they’ve never had their hearing evaluated, then suggest, ‘This might be a good time for a hearing evaluation.’ If they already have hearing aids, ask, ‘Can you help me understand why you don’t want to wear them?'”

Stamper added, “It is important to discover the why — the obstacle stopping them from addressing their hearing issues. Some people do not see a problem. For others, there is a perceived stigma of aging. Without some internal motivation to move forward, it is unlikely that anything will change.”

Behind the scenes with Nicole’s family

Vincent, the reader who reached out about Nicole’s issue, cares deeply about his employees and their families. He arranged a Zoom session for Nicole’s parents and me the day following my interview with Stamper.

For over an hour, they poured out their hearts about the daughter who is their sole source of support. They clearly love her and are worried about what would happen if she lost her job, but they have no idea why she is refusing to wear hearing aids.

I asked them to describe her demeanor when arguments break out, as they do in every family. “How does Nicole react when this happens? Does she participate? Think of her body language. Is she involved in the argument or discussion? Describe her facial expressions. Do family arguments seem to frighten her?”

“Yes, always. The louder we talk, the more upset it makes her,” Nicole’s mother replied.

They gave me a clue. It was time to speak with Nicole.

Zooming with Nicole — it’s all about the noise

The afternoon of February 25, it was a chilly 40 degrees in much of the Pacific Northwest, where Vincent’s company is located. It was 75 here in Bakersfield, California. Within minutes, some of our Southern California warmth made its way into Vincent’s office, where Nicole was on our Zoom call.

“Vincent wants you to convince me to wear hearing aids, right, Mr. Beaver?” she asked.

“Partially correct, Nicole. Partially. And with your help, we are going to make a whole bunch of people as happy as can be, beginning with you, because I think I know why you don’t want to wear hearing aids. Noise — loud, aimless, jarring sounds drive you up a wall, right?”

“How did you know, Mr. Beaver? It’s true! I hate those hearing aids when my family gets into yelling contests, and when I wear them on job sites, it feel like my head is in a metal trash can and someone is banging on it with a hammer.”

“Nicole, our office has several clients who have recently purchased hearing aids with noise-reducing AI technology, and they just love them. I know for sure that Vincent will buy them for you, so please ask him to join us.”

She found Vincent and brought him back into his office, and I briefed him on what he could do for Nicole, her family and his company. He agreed.

I’ll keep you in the loop on what happens next.

Dennis Beaver Practices law in Bakersfield and welcomes comments and questions from readers,
which may be faxed to (661) 323-7993,
or e-mailed to Lagombeaver1 – at – Gmail.com.

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January 6, 2026  • By Dennis Beaver

Over the many years I’ve been in law practice, a client’s adult child has more than once called with an urgent need to come into the office, saying, “It is about Mom and Dad. Their judgment about the financial things they were always on top of seems to have fallen off of a cliff. We have to protect them from themselves, but how?”

Usually, they add, “But they are both highly independent and would not stand for control of their finances to be taken away.”

It doesn’t have to be.

I am getting more and more of these calls as our population ages, and the issue often is because my advice to an older couple — “you need to cut ties with this crooked contractor” — is rejected, and they decide to stay with the con to their detriment.

My article last week about Walter and Patty, As We Age, Embracing Our Own Self-Doubt Can Be a Gift: A Cautionary Tale About Elder Financial Abuse, is a case in point.

Guarding against future financial mistakes

When adult children see their aging parent(s) begin to act impulsively or make financial decisions that aren’t sound, this is the time to have a consultation with an elder law attorney — before things get worse. These lawyers focus on the legal needs of older adults, including:

• Long-term-care planning

• Medicaid eligibility

• Estate planning and trusts

• Powers of attorney and health care directives

• Asset protection

• Guardianship and conservatorship

• Elder rights and elder abuse prevention

Today, we look at how an elder law attorney can address financial vulnerability and exploitation by putting safeguards — guardrails — in place that reduce the chances of future mistakes while preserving the parent’s dignity and independence as much as possible.

Effective preventive financial tools

The elder law attorneys I know are among the most compassionate individuals in the legal profession. The last thing an aging parent who has always been in control of their finances wants is to lose that ability.

• How can a family protect them without giving the impression that they are taking over a parent’s life?

• Elder law attorneys use a win-win strategy that demonstrates family support instead of completely limiting Mom or Dad’s financial freedom.

• An elder law attorney can design a limited authority framework that:

• Requires a second signature for contracts or large purchases

• Allows a child to access/monitor accounts

• Allows the parent to have day-to-day control up to a specified dollar amount

• Instructs the parent’s bank to flag and stop attempted withdrawals or payments to anyone over a specified limit and notify the adult child if that is attempted

• Requires the signature of an adult child or named person for amounts over a set dollar figure

• Arranges for a copy of the monthly bank statements to be sent to a designated relative or third party

• Employs anti-exploitative measures, including fraud alerts from all three credit bureaus, credit card spending limits, trusted-contact notifications and automatic bill pay, which may reduce a parent’s confusion on which bills to pay

Also, if a parent has signed a questionable or predatory contract, an elder law attorney can identify grounds for cancellation and speak with the company or reach out to lawyers familiar with the legal issues involved.

For example, I am frequently contacted by attorneys whose clients have become victims of timeshare and rooftop solar sales scams.

What a durable power of attorney accomplishes

An elder law attorney can set up a proper (more on what’s considered “proper” in a moment) durable financial power of attorney, which allows a trusted family member to handle financial affairs if the parent becomes mentally or physically incapacitated because of illness or accident.

A durable power of attorney for health care — aka medical power of attorney or health care proxy — is also essential.

Trusts protect assets from scams and impulsive decisions

Depending upon a family’s assets and needs, an elder law attorney will explore using a trust as a way to protect older people from making poor decisions, squandering their funds or being a target of scammers.

The concept is simple: Control of assets is given to a responsible child or professional fiduciary/trustee, who manages these assets while restricting the aging parent’s direct access.

The objective of all trusts is the preservation of assets for the benefit of the parent or designated beneficiaries.

Why hire an attorney when most of this stuff is free online?

I am occasionally asked, “Why spend the money on an elder law attorney when I can get all the forms and information for free online, or pay just a few dollars for a kit with fill-in-the-blank forms that promise to be as good as hiring a lawyer?”

My answer: What you pay an attorney to draft proper estate planning documents is often much lower than the costs of fixing a botched DIY plan.

Growing up, our parents loved and cared for us. We owe them the same now.

Dennis Beaver Practices law in Bakersfield and welcomes comments and questions from readers,
which may be faxed to (661) 323-7993,
or e-mailed to Lagombeaver1 – at – Gmail.com.

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December 29, 2025  • By Dennis Beaver

There is an age when self-doubt — questioning our decisions, seeking approval of family and trusted friends for our choices — can prevent us from becoming victims of financial abuse, consumer fraud or even ourselves.

Like three-quarters of Americans over the age of 50, “Walter” and “Patty,” both in their late 70s, decided to “age in place” — remaining in the home they had lived in for many years, where they’ve formed friendships, have good neighbors and access to health care resources and much more.

Patty deals with severe mobility and dexterity challenges that require their primary bathroom to be remodeled. Watching a local television commercial for a company I will call Nightmare Bathroom Remodeling set the stage for the kind of financial elder abuse and consumer fraud we often see on the news.

If, before ever contacting Nightmare, they had read the negative Yelp reviews — which far outnumber the positive ones — I doubt you would be reading this story.

There were giant red flags

Walter described the first red flag they saw, though they didn’t grasp its significance at the time:

“We visited their showroom on July 22, 2025, to discuss bathroom renovations and met with the owner, ‘Bill,’ who gave us a rough estimate of $90,000. We gave him a retainer fee of $3,000. No contract was signed.”

In California, a home improvement contractor can charge only 10% of the contract price to a maximum of $1,000 as a down payment. Contracts over $500 must be in writing and signed before any money is accepted from the customer.

Violations can result in criminal charges and disciplinary action by the Contractors State License Board in California.

Other states have specific limits on the maximum down payment a contractor can charge. Some set a percentage, while a combination of a percentage and a dollar amount is used in others. To find information for your state, you can check out this website provided by Angi.

That $3,000 down payment clearly violated the law in California. It is Nightmare’s MO. But wait, it gets worse.

Additional huge deposit paid, though no work done or materials delivered

On September 12, 2025, the couple met with customer service rep “Ima” (as in I’m a Thief) and signed a $120,000 contract.

Three weeks later, Nightmare illegally had them pay an additional $90,000. No work on the job had been started, no materials had been delivered, and nothing justified this payment.

Additionally, Nightmare failed, in virtually all respects, to comply with the terms and specifications that must be in a home improvement contract.

And then a shocking call from their bank

Near the end of October 2025, Walter was informed by their bank that multiple charges had been made from their checking account, and Ima had set up an autopay arrangement for health insurance and dental insurance premiums. She had forged Walter’s signature on counterfeit checks.

“I called Ima about it,” Walter said. “She first claimed to have no idea what I was talking about, then she emailed to tell me not to contact her boss — because she needed the job, as she was a single mother with a son.”

The bank replaced the money Ima had stolen from their account.

Angry and disappointed, Walter reached out to friend and neighbor Mark Novak, professor of sociology at California State University, Bakersfield. Novak referred him to me. (Readers might remember meeting Novak in my 2019 Kiplinger article Needing to Hire? Think Wrinkles.)

Walter asked Novak if he should inform Ima’s employer, and Novak felt that he should — to at least protect other customers. Walter did and then was surprised to learn that Ima remained employed at Nightmare.

I tried to reach Nightmare’s owner, but he refused to take my call.

The couple needed to cut ties with this crooked company, but what came next made me worry about their reasoning and decision-making abilities.

Self-doubt can be your greatest friend

Walter emailed me right before Thanksgiving: “Thanks for your advice, but we are continuing to work with Nightmare.”

I replied, “Folks, the fact that an employee forged your signature on counterfeit checks should have scared the pants off of you, and had I been notified at the time, I would have personally helped you file a criminal complaint with the police. I urge that you immediately demand a refund of what they illegally charged you. …

“I have learned over the years that if we have close, responsible family members and friends, major financial/life decisions we make when we get older should be discussed with them. We should get their opinions and ask them to review contracts or anything that puts our money or well-being at risk. And, most of all, we should never feel embarrassed.

“Your decision to remain with this company deeply worries me. This is the time for self-doubt! Am I missing something? Maybe. Let’s discuss this with our kids, accountant or family lawyer — someone whose advice we trust — before we do something that could wind up hurting us.

“Please show this email to your most responsible children. Have them call me to get a referral to an elder law attorney. Yes, you need to do that. And when you are near my office, please drop in. I’d love to meet you both in person.”

My next column will cover why a consultation with an elder law attorney can be the best investment children of aging parents can make.

Dennis Beaver Practices law in Bakersfield and welcomes comments and questions from readers,
which may be faxed to (661) 323-7993,
or e-mailed to Lagombeaver1 – at – Gmail.com.

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December 22, 2025  • By Dennis Beaver

When the news that legendary director Rob Reiner and his wife, Michele, were murdered in their Los Angeles home and the only suspect was their 32-year-old son, Nick, I immediately thought of my meeting — only a week earlier — with “Alex,” who left this message on our office voicemail:

“My brother ‘Gabe’ is out of control, but nothing I say to my parents is getting their attention. What can I do? Can we meet as soon as possible, please? It got so physical last night that the police were called — again — but Mom and Dad won’t do anything to protect themselves. They keep giving him money. I fear he could kill them.

“Also, they have an estate plan, but they will not tell me a thing. I have to know if the worst happens. And what if Gabe attacks a neighbor he has had words with? Could my parents be held liable for his criminal behavior?”

Sometimes denial is too strong

Gabe’s case is not an isolated one. There are some parents who never get it, who will never get it, nor do they realize just how much they have contributed to a child’s failure as an adult.

In my decades of practicing law, I have observed a strong correlation between highly successful professionals — physicians, dentists, CPAs, lawyers — with irresponsible, messed-up kids who never grow up. (I’m not suggesting in any way that this is what happened with the Reiners and their son — I’m talking only about Gabe’s case and others I’ve personally witnessed that are similar.)

Failure is all but assured with a helicopter, snowplow or bulldozer parent — overly involved, protective parents who “hover” over their children, shielding them from challenges, mistakes and natural consequences to ensure — they think — their safety and success.

It is all made worse when a child develops mental illness, which may be evident to others but is denied by one or both parents.

Mom, in Gabe’s case, checks all the boxes. I have been their family attorney for decades and watched the boys grow up.

Both parents are specialists in their medical fields, but Mom stayed home and devoted herself to their sons, “protecting” Gabe in particular because of issues he had as a young child that worsened over the years.

And, I have to tell you, she is the nicest, most generous person you’ll ever meet, with a smile that can melt ice. Like Alex, I am also worried about what could happen.

Problems began at a young age

Beginning at about 5 years of age, Gabe showed behaviors that were not normal and were not addressed. While Alex did fine in school, Gabe always felt teachers were out to get him. Mom justified his irrational thoughts and paranoia by blaming the teachers for his failures.

When Gabe started misusing marijuana, his downward spiral accelerated. He was “unfairly” flunked out of law school “because they did not like my political views.” DUI arrests followed, and he has been in and out of rehab and psychiatrists’ offices.

At 32, he is still living at home. He has never been employed for more than a few months. He regularly consumes large amounts of alcohol.

In drug-fueled rages, he has torn apart the interior of the family home, and his parents, fearing for their lives, often stay in hotels to protect themselves. But they also go back home from time to time, despite the danger.

Parents need to lessen the risks and protect themselves

Any family in this kind of situation needs to ensure that guns and other weapons are removed from the home. Even if a family owns no firearms, you do not know if your troubled loved one has acquired one. A thorough search of the home is obligatory when they are out.

Generally, parents are not responsible for an adult child’s criminal behavior, but in a situation like Gabe’s, parents need to do everything possible to reduce the chances of someone getting hurt and the family being blamed for being negligent.

It’s important to involve law enforcement

Alex made clear that his parents refused to have Gabe arrested — and he could still be, for assault, vandalism, terrorist threats — and taken to a mental facility.

I spoke about this with two clinical psychologists, who asked not to be identified because they are not involved in Gabe’s case. They both indicated that the fact that he has not been arrested is evidence of the parents being caught in a spiral of enabling.

Providing money, housing or covering up destructive behavior is seen as a green light to continue bad behavior. They both added that any parent in this situation needs professional counseling themselves.

Other steps parents dealing with a troubled and violent adult child need to take include:

• Call 911 if the danger is immediate. Law enforcement can intervene and issue a temporary stay-away order.

• Call a crisis hotline for guidance when violence or drug use escalates. Visit USA.gov to find the numbers for hotlines and other information about how families can get help with issues stemming from substance abuse.

• Seek a professional evaluation for the child at a mental health facility. Parents should also seek professional counseling themselves.

• Locate support groups to learn coping strategies and avoid isolation.

• Have a home video/audio security system installed with the data sent to the cloud, not stored at home, where it can be accessed by the troubled person.

Someone needs to know where estate planning information is located

Now for Alex’s question about the estate planning documents. It helps no one to play hide-the-ball with documentation involving family trusts, wills and related information, especially when you have responsible adult children or other family members capable of carrying out your wishes.

My recommendation to anyone in Alex’s situation is to say to their parents, “Not knowing where these documents are or what information they include is likely to cause delays, legal battles and costs that I know you don’t want. Help me help you in reducing the stress of what not knowing will cause.”

In case you wonder if I tried to reason with Mom — yes, I tried. But I was met with that beautiful smile.

Dennis Beaver Practices law in Bakersfield and welcomes comments and questions from readers,
which may be faxed to (661) 323-7993,
or e-mailed to Lagombeaver1 – at – Gmail.com.

The post How to Protect Yourself and Others From a Troubled Adult Child: A Lesson from Real Life appeared first on Dennis Beaver.

December 15, 2025  • By Dennis Beaver

The children of Morgan Clayton, founder of Tel-Tec Security Systems in Bakersfield, California, share how their father’s wisdom, life experience and caring nature have turned their family business into a locally respected powerhouse.

Over the years, I’ve worked with families who own businesses — represented, consulted, held nervous hands, kept family members from diving across the table at each other.

In the process, I’ve come to know just how difficult running a family-owned business can be.

Often, conflict arises when a son or daughter graduates from college with a business degree, their head filled with ideas from classes taught by professors who have never actually been in business. The kids want to go in directions the founders (Mom and Dad) see as financially dubious.

Managing these types of conflicts can yield results that are equivalent to a shot of vitamin B-12 if — and it is a big if — the parent/founder can bring to the table wisdom and respect of and by family, friends and customers.

That one person can unite family and employees, leading to a level of business success and accomplishment that can positively impact an entire community. I’ve seen it happen, including with the topic of today’s column.

Honored for decades of service

One of the most inspiring people I know reflects those qualities in his life and the family business he founded.

I was present in May 2025 when 69-year-old Morgan Clayton was awarded an honorary doctorate of Humane Letters by the president of California State University, Bakersfield, because of his decades of service to his community. (Editor’s note: Mr. Beaver was also awarded an honorary doctorate, but he’s too humble to mention that here.)

As chairman of the board of Tel-Tec Security Systems, which he founded in 1982 and which serves more than 20,000 customers in California’s Central Valley, Clayton is proof that thinking of others, including helping youths in need of direction, is of enormous value to a community — and reflects positively on a business.

I sat down with his three children — daughter Tasha and sons Kevin and Tyson, whom their father described as “being essential to our growth, who we are today” — and asked them to describe what their father does that has made this family-run enterprise so successful and respected.

“Morgan’s very DNA is rooted in finding positive solutions, sending a message that he cares,” Tasha said. (As a sign of respect in the workplace, the siblings refer to their dad by his first name.)

As I talked with these three siblings, it soon became obvious that their father’s attitude and life philosophy would benefit family-run businesses everywhere.

The words and philosophy Morgan Clayton lives by

With an endearing smile, Tyson added, “Everyone is his friend, and one of his famous quotes is, ‘People do business with people they know, like and trust.’ He lives by that — making decisions with this philosophy and referring to it all the time.”

Kevin noted, “He doesn’t accept ‘no’ as an answer and will do what others overlook or don’t want to do. He has always been a role model for our family and employees, with qualities that open the door to success, beginning with generosity, thinking of the less fortunate in our community and asking, ‘How can we address this situation? What can we do, as a company and in our individual capacities, to help?”

‘There are no obstacles — only opportunities’

I asked Tasha, “How does Morgan’s philosophy apply to finding solutions to obstacles or challenges that come up in your business?”

“I have often heard him say there is no such thing as ‘an obstacle,'” she said. “It is called ‘an opportunity.'”

Tyson observed that Morgan “doesn’t hear negativity; he doesn’t like it. He can’t stand it. Everyone knows — family, board members and every employee — that if you have a problem that needs his help in finding a resolution and you want to discuss it with him, you’ve got to be open-minded and look at the issue as an opportunity.

“If you can’t navigate in that direction, then do not waste his time. Morgan is always seeking a win-win solution and does what it takes to achieve that in an honest and ethical way.”

Curiosity plays a huge role: They track every customer they lose

Curiosity, I learned, runs deep among Tel-Tec’s management. They want to know how they are doing, especially when faced with a customer who leaves the company.

When informed that a customer is at risk of departing or has actually left Tel-Tec, the company begins a process to discover if it was due to an error on its part. Employees ask, “Can we make it right?”

“Everyone’s voice is important,” Tasha points out, adding, “We do not disregard. Rather, we bring issues to the table, and it is so comforting to know that our brand is affected by the vision people have of us.

“The best referrals come from our customers and from all of us understanding that our culture includes providing superior security services and giving back to the community.”

‘When you invest in us, you invest in your community’

As I learned from his children, Morgan Clayton didn’t just file corporate papers and open the doors of a security company. “He created a vehicle that provides needed security services and benefits to our community that cannot be measured in dollars alone,” Kevin said.

As one Tel-Tec worker told me, “We know how blessed we are to be part of all this.”

Dennis Beaver Practices law in Bakersfield and welcomes comments and questions from readers,
which may be faxed to (661) 323-7993,
or e-mailed to Lagombeaver1 – at – Gmail.com.

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“My mother was a 72-year-old widow when she met ‘William’ at church and was soon swept off her feet. He claimed to have lost his wife some years earlier.

“She described him as her Prince Charming — he took her to nice restaurants, social events, trips out of town, things that spoke of having money. They married after knowing each other just 10 months. During their courtship, Mom commented that William never had cash, but put everything on credit cards.

“I told her to do a background search on William — were there skeletons in his past? Was he truly well-off financially, or was it all fake? She refused, saying, ‘You have to go into marriage with 100% trust, or it will not work.’ From what I could see, they really did appear to love each other.

“Over my objections, she added him to her bank and investment accounts as a co-owner. Within three months, over $200,000 was gone, taken by the IRS and Sheriff’s Office to satisfy outstanding judgments against him, including all the dinners, trips, everything they did together. When the money was gone, he left town.

“All of this sent her into a deep depression. Can their marriage be annulled based upon his failure to reveal that he is a deadbeat? Thanks, ‘Randy.'”

The cost of loneliness

I ran this situation by Scott Levin, in his 20th year of practicing family law in San Diego with a focus on mediation. Earlier this year, he was so helpful for an article on the consequences of living together without a cohabitation agreement.

His take: You should have a professional background check done.

“Dennis, loneliness is leading more and more older people to find themselves in similar situations as your reader is describing. Trust is important, but as President Reagan said, ‘Trust but verify.’

“That means, if you’ve got something to lose, have a background search done by a professional — such as a private investigator, instead of the ‘pay $25 and discover anything about anyone’ option that we see advertised all over the internet. They are often worthless.”

Not so easy to obtain an annulment

Also known as a nullity, an annulment declares there never was a marriage, and there are all sorts of myths associated with this colorful and fascinating area of law, going back centuries in Western history.

One of the most common is that it is easy to obtain if based on financial misrepresentation or concealment.

“However,” Levin points out, “these are generally considered weak grounds and do not typically create the basis for an annulment. So, that’s why, along with a petition for annulment, it is recommended to have a fallback request for divorce. That way, time is not lost if the court rejects the nullity claim.”

Was it essential to the marital relationship?

Levin adds, “To be successful with a claim of fraud, the deceived party has to establish the lie or omission was about a matter courts describe as ‘essential to the marital relationship.'”

He lists several examples:

Failing to reveal a secret child or a previous marriage

Having a physical and incurable incapacity to engage in sexual relations at the time of marriage

Hiding a significant criminal record

Refusing to engage in sexual relations after the marriage

“Interestingly, while courts seldom view a spouse’s pre-marriage credit card debt to be ‘essential to the marital relationship,'” Levin says, “hiding compulsive gambling and resulting debt, drug addiction and related issues could, potentially, warrant an annulment.”

What if financial security was a reason for the marriage?

“While misrepresenting one’s financial status is generally not viewed as ‘essential to the marital relationship,'” Levin notes, “with our older population, hiding poverty while creating the impression of being financially secure could be adequate. The rationale is that few people would want to go into a marriage with an impoverished leech.”

Deception that does qualify for an annulment

Aside from financial issues, there are still other types of misrepresentations/omissions that could warrant a court to nullify a marriage. Levin listed several:

Marrying to obtain a green card or solely to remain in the United States

Committing bigamy, where one spouse is already legally married to another person.

Marrying a person who is under the legal age to marry without parental or court consent

Tricking a person into marriage through force or fraud

Lacking the mental capacity to consent due to illness, intoxication or other impairment

Marrying immediate family members, also known as incest (however, the legality of marriage between first cousins varies widely across the country)

An ounce of prevention

“Dennis,” Levin went on, “as kids, we all heard the old saying, ‘An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.’ Applying it to people who have any degree of affluence considering marriage to someone they do not know extremely well, a prenup should be thought of as obligatory. It requires disclosure of assets and debts — potential red flags.”

Levin, known as the Chief Peacekeeper™, often helps couples create fair agreements that protect both sides while avoiding painful disputes later. “A prenup is not only for the wealthy — it’s a vital planning tool for anyone who wants transparency and peace of mind going into marriage.”

As for people like Randy, who reached out about his mother’s marriage to the deadbeat William, Levin says, “Families need to be aware of who Mom and Dad are seeing, and if the relationship appears to be moving toward marriage, hire a private investigator for a due diligence background search.

“If you are told, ‘No, I trust him/her,’ don’t argue — just do it anyway. This is the time when loving children become parents of their parents.”.

Dennis Beaver Practices law in Bakersfield and welcomes comments and questions from readers,
which may be faxed to (661) 323-7993,
or e-mailed to Lagombeaver1 – at – Gmail.com.

The post What One Widow’s Ordeal Teaches Us About Marriage and Money appeared first on Dennis Beaver.

If you watched the original The A-Team action-adventure television series in the 1980s or in reruns, one line from that show probably stuck in your memory: “I love it when a plan comes together.”

I said the same thing to a happy — and extremely lucky — reader after we thwarted an attempt by the daughter of a former employee to blackmail him with allegations of office hanky-panky with her mother some years earlier.

The underlying fact situation is the perfect example of why it is important to hang on to expired passports, among several other documents. This made-for-television drama began with a phone call from “Chris,” an optometrist in Upstate New York.

‘She was the best office manager I ever had’

“For over 30 years, ‘Ada’ was my office manager — the nicest, most competent and considerate person you could ever know, always sending lovely birthday and thank-you cards with beautifully handwritten messages. We kept them all.

“Our families grew close — with the exception of her daughter, Beverly, who had drug and alcohol issues but refused rehab. She studied calligraphy as part of a college graphic design major, a skill that she put to work forging checks. She is now on probation.

“Ada died a month ago. Yesterday, Beverly came to our office, asking to see me in private, as it was ‘something about her mother.’ Beverly is the reason I am calling you.”

You have 10 days to fork over $50,000

Chris says he agreed to see her, but added, “Knowing her past, I activated a small digital voice recorder in my shirt pocket.” (In New York, it is legal for one party to record a conversation without the other’s knowledge.)

He played the recording for me. After a friendly, initial chat, Beverly said, in a pleasant tone of voice, “There is an entry from years ago where you were both intimate on a particular Friday after everyone else had left. No one knows this except me. I will give you 10 days to get me $50,000, or I will tell your wife, your medical pals, everyone. Here is the diary. You can read the entry yourself, even make a copy. It’s real.”

Chris said, “She handed it to me. As I knew Ada’s handwriting, this was an obvious fake. And what was described never happened — I was always out of the country that week, for years, on a medical mission to South America.

“I remained calm and color-scanned the journal entry, plus several before and after that day, then handed it back to Beverly. I asked for her cell phone number and promised to call her.”

Chris wants to protect Ada’s memory

Chris did not want to cause embarrassment to Ada’s family by involving law enforcement, which could have attracted media attention.

“I thought of you, Mr. Beaver, because I recall that you wrote about something similar — attempted blackmail. My old, expired passport shows that I was out of the country (on that date), and there was local press coverage of the event, available online. I would appreciate your help in getting this to go away without paying her a cent.”

“Chris,” I replied, “if you show Beverly that this could not have happened, I’ll wager that she will quietly go away. So, scan and send me the pages in your expired passport that establish identity, your departure/return to the U.S., the stamps in it from the South American country with your entry and departure for that time frame, each year preceding and following, along with the news stories.”

Why keep expired passports and other documents?

Expired passports are valuable and should be retained, as they can establish your identity and travel history, literally keeping you out of jail if you become the focus of a criminal investigation.

Other documents you should keep:

Anything that proves your identity and/or where you have been, such as your birth certificate, Social Security card, transportation stubs (airline, train and bus) and driver’s licenses from all the states/places you have lived.

Paperwork concerning legal status/changes, such as immigration/naturalization records, marriage/divorce judgments, name-change applications and subsequent court approval.

Property and financial records, such as deeds/mortgages, homeowners/renters insurance policies, tax returns, business licenses, receipts/warranty booklets for major appliances, titles to vehicles, payment records, pension plan information, employment contracts, life and health insurance contracts/payment records, medical records, wills and trusts, even if revoked or modified, powers of attorney, lawsuits/settlement agreements.

For an excellent discussion of the ways of keeping these documents, including which ones should be kept as originals and which ones may be scanned, I suggest visiting the Kiplinger article How to Store Your Financial Documents the Right Way.

The plan to deal with Beverly’s blackmail attempt

“Chris, here is my idea,” I said. “Set up a video call with the three of us. Just tell her that you have a positive resolution and want her to speak with a friend.”

Beverly agreed. I showed her his passport with the entries proving that he was out of the country and said, “Beverly, Chris does not want to bring embarrassment to your family. He is not going to the police. But there is something he would like you to do.”

“Bev,” Chris said, tears streaming down his face, “I hope the memory of your mom and your family can help get you on a better path. After completing a six-month rehab program — I will pay the insurance deductible — you can have a job in my office, from mother to daughter. So, what do you say?”

Tears replaced her smile. She agreed.

All of this happened about a year ago. Recently, Chris emailed, “When I look at Beverly now, I see Ada.”

Dennis Beaver Practices law in Bakersfield and welcomes comments and questions from readers,
which may be faxed to (661) 323-7993,
or e-mailed to Lagombeaver1 – at – Gmail.com.

The post How an Expired Passport Thwarted Blackmail (and What Other Important Documents You Should Keep) appeared first on Dennis Beaver.

“Mr. Beaver, my husband, ‘Leroy,’ is a high school history teacher and just inherited $50,000. He wants to use it to open a business but does not know what kind of business.

“I grew up in a family that still owns several small neighborhood hardware stores, started by my grandfather, so I know a lot about what it takes, but Leroy has no business experience at all.

“When I ask, ‘Why?’ he replies, ‘I need to prove myself to your family.’ Do you know someone who can share what it takes to start a business that is sure to fail? Thanks, ‘Bea.’

There is another way

My reader’s email could not have arrived at a better time, as I was just about to interview David Whorton, Silicon Valley entrepreneur and author of Another Way: Building Companies That Last … and Last … and Last.

Whorton offers a refreshing approach to building a business that endures, also known as an evergreen business — the goal is to put people first. “There is another way to build a successful business than the current philosophy of ‘bigger, faster is always better,'” he says.

He shares with us how to start a successful business by setting out the steps that can contribute to failure.

Failing to conduct a risk assessment

Don’t leap first, figuring that you’ll simply work out the details later.

Risk comes in four major buckets:

• Market

• Team

• Technology

• Financing

A would-be owner needs to ask themselves many questions related to these four buckets:

• Do you understand the market, the intended customer and their willingness to buy?

• What will be required from all the technologies your product or service will rely on to be differentiated?

• Where are you going to find the good people you will need on the team?

• Will you be able to build it from its own cash flow or need to raise outside capital? If outside, what is the likelihood of successfully raising the funds required?

• What does your product or service and the products or services associated with it cost? How will you provide service and support?

Not knowing the answers could inevitably lead to your business failing.

Quitting your job and having no income separate from your new business

Your job and current paycheck might provide you with a safety net. “If you can continue to bring in income while building your company, you will give yourself more time and much less anxiety,” Whorton underscores.

Not thinking through the business model

Whorton cautions against relying on what you see in other, similar businesses. You need to think about what you want to achieve and resist using the industry-standard business model.

Consider which business model is best suited to your concept, your business and your funding strategy: For example, retail, franchise, third-party distribution, marketing-driven and direct-to-customer (internet) sales all have different benefits and cash requirements.

If you want to build an evergreen business — one that will endure — you’ll want a business model that generates cash early and does not rely on outside equity or debt.

Falling into the ‘if I build a great product or service, they will come’ mentality

Ask: How am I going to get this product in front of my customers? Through stores, partners, a third party, field sales representatives or other sales or marketing programs?

Biting off more than you can chew from an emotional perspective

Are you psychologically able to deal with the people issues that arise in any business?

Being a founder can be a lonely and very stressful process for a number of years. There is a lot of uncertainty associated with establishing and running a business. For example, Whorton says, “You lose a major customer, half your revenue vanishes, and you think, ‘Oh my gosh, if I don’t have a strong balance sheet, I have to lay off people! I just can’t do that!'”

Ask yourself and the people who know you best: Am I ready for these challenges at this stage of my life?

Feeling threatened and therefore not hiring people who have more experience than you do

Whorton points out that you need to hire people who can help your business succeed. “Just because you get along on the local baseball league team does not translate into that person being a competent, honest sales representative. Hiring people whom you are just friendly with, but you know little about their character or capability, spells trouble.”

Don’t ignore red flags, such as “I know that he never stays employed at the same place for more than a year, but I really like him, and he has a lot of cool things to say about how he works.” The fact that this person has not survived in one place for more than a year tells you that something’s wrong, and you have to dig into it.

Remember that character counts. “When you get good people with great character, take care of them and let them shine,” Whorton underscores.

Going into business because you feel it’s expected of you, including joining a family business

Running a business is hard, so you should really want to do it.

You want to go into the business with the attitude, “This is my purpose in life — I want to have a team that is allied with my vision and values.” A red flag is someone saying, “I’ve got this idea. Now, I’m not really in love with it, but it seems to have some traction, so I’m going to run with it.”

An inspiring read

Whorton concluded our interview with these comments: “If you are starting a business, ideally, it is one that you want to dedicate the rest of your life to. That’s the secret to evergreen companies that endure well over a hundred years.

“My advice to college students who are vaguely thinking about getting into business one day is to develop a curious mind and consider yourself to be a lifelong learner. Pursue a well-rounded education and discover the common denominators of prior and current business leaders — what helped them succeed?”

Reading Another Way was as inspiring as my interview with its author. Whorton’s candor made me feel as if we’d known each other for years.

If you are thinking of opening your own shop, Whorton shows you the way to building that place on the planet you will love to return to every day.

Dennis Beaver Practices law in Bakersfield and welcomes comments and questions from readers,
which may be faxed to (661) 323-7993,
or e-mailed to Lagombeaver1 – at – Gmail.com.

The post Building a Business That Lasts: The Critical Steps to Avoid Blunders appeared first on Dennis Beaver.

Most people understand the risks of being a cosigner for a car purchase or lease. But how should you reply if a good friend or a close family member says, “Will you please be my guarantor — not cosigner, just a guarantor — for the apartment I would like to lease?”

Is there a difference?

“Mr. Beaver,” “Nick” began in his phone call, “I’ve read your column for years and need some guidance. My nephew, ‘Mitch,’ is 42 and has a horrible credit score. He had difficulty in the past paying bills on time, but recently cleaned up his act, has a good job and steady relationship and appears to be on the right financial path.

“He wants to rent an apartment for himself and his girlfriend. Both of them work and have good incomes. He was told to find a ‘guarantor,’ or the management company would not lease him the apartment.

“I am being somewhat pressured by family to take on that role, and they tell me that, at most, I would be responsible for one month’s rent if he defaults, and then I could walk away. I can live with that — but is it correct? Is there a difference between a cosigner and guarantor on a lease?”

What Nick did not know about his nephew?

I said, “Nick, let’s do some due diligence research on Mitch right now. If he’s been sued or has gotten in trouble criminally, it will be on the Superior Court Civil and Criminal Filings index, so turn on your computer.”

We found many entries about Mitch — two bankruptcies, lawsuits and judgments against him going back years, several because this jerk pays rent for a month and then stops, becoming a squatter.

He has written checks galore on closed accounts, and his name appears on the Criminal Register, which shows that he did time in the slammer for the bad checks —which Nick knew nothing about.

“Yeah, I see all that,” Nick said, “but I still feel almost forced to help the kid.” That history should have scared the pants off of him.

“Nick, he’s no kid. He is trouble, so let me fill you in on the nonsense you were given about being liable for only one month’s rent as a guarantor.”

There are differences

I explained to Nick that a cosigner has equal responsibility for the rent or other financial obligations, and this begins when the agreement (lease or purchase contract) is signed. With a lease, cosigners are considered to be tenants and may live in the property.

A guarantor might sign a separate agreement, assuming responsibility for the debt only if the primary borrower defaults. They do not have the right to occupy the property. So, at first glance, it might appear that serving as a guarantor is fairly safe — the financial exposure is much less than that of a cosigner.

That said, it is very common for real property leases to make a guarantor’s legal obligations virtually identical to those of a cosigner. In my experience, if a guarantor rejects those terms, property managers will pull the plug on the entire transaction. It becomes a take-it-or-leave-it situation.

Think before being pressured into being generous

“Nick,” I said, “we all need to get real — very real — and ask ourselves the following questions when someone requests us to cosign or become a guarantor, especially if the person has already proven themselves to be an irresponsible flake or are at the beginning of a romantic relationship.”

• Why do they need my help?

• Are they, or other family members, putting a guilt trip on me?

• What did they do to put themselves in a position of needing a cosigner or guarantor?

• Will they hit up someone else if I refuse? (They will.)

You should also accept that you are not this person’s guardian angel — they will survive without your help.

Why would you accept the significant financial risks that will likely impact your credit and mental well-being when — not if, but when — they default and you wind up getting sued for their debt?

Consequences at home: Relationship strain

Mixing finances with personal relationships often guarantees embarrassment, feelings of betrayal and the loss of trust when the borrower fails to follow through on promises.

It’s even worse if the borrower defaults on the loan and makes no effort to protect the generous family member who was there when needed — sometimes the borrower will even blame the cosigner for having the nerve to insist they repay their debt.

Even if the borrower is financially responsible, cosigning is a significant financial risk. If you are not comfortable with it, decline.

The bottom line is that cosigning or guaranteeing any financial transaction is a major commitment with real consequences. Seriously consider it only if you have absolute confidence in the borrower’s ability to repay and can answer yes to this question: Can you accept the potential risks to your own well-being and that of your family?

Finally, in a dating relationship, realize there are cons by the bushel who “just need a little help” in getting into that apartment or buying a car. Refuse.

When they say, “If you really loved me, you would help, but I guess you don’t,” you can think to yourself, “That’s right! I don’t have ‘sucker’ stamped on my forehead!”

Dennis Beaver Practices law in Bakersfield and welcomes comments and questions from readers,
which may be faxed to (661) 323-7993,
or e-mailed to Lagombeaver1 – at – Gmail.com.

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