Getting older isn’t for sissies, and the more prepared you are for cognitive decline and the issues that come with it, the better your life will be.

Do you worry about a friend or family member who is getting on in years? Perhaps you even worry about yourself? When was the last time you looked in a mirror and thought, “Where did that wrinkle come from? It wasn’t there yesterday.”

A bit scary, isn’t it? “Life is great until it isn’t, until Mom or Dad, Grandma or Grandpa — or you — slips and falls, winding up with bruised ribs at best or a hip fracture, and everything is suddenly upside down,” observes M.T. Connolly, author of The Measure of Our Age: Navigating Care, Safety, Money, and Meaning Later in Life.

Connolly is an attorney and social researcher focused on elder justice and a 2011 MacArthur Fellow. She was the founding head of the Justice Department’s Elder Justice Initiative. In my experience, she is one of a handful of lawyers truly dedicated to making a profound difference in our society instead of fattening their bank accounts.

We had a long and fascinating chat about the common mistakes and assumptions we often make about the reality of aging in America. Here are some of the things she says many of us do wrong:

1. Don’t plan ahead, assuming there will be plenty of time when a crisis hits.

Consequences: You have less control, less knowledge than you need to navigate options, thereby reducing your chances of a good outcome. Crises will come, and planning ahead can help you understand how to navigate the various choices, how you might pay for them and which ones might be a better fit for you or somebody in your family.

2. Don’t talk about our care preferences — who will provide it and where — assuming that when the time arises, our preferences will be totally clear.

Consequences: You end up with suboptimal outcomes for the person who needs care. One option is getting care at home, but who will provide it? A family member, a friend, a paid caregiver or volunteers from a church or a community organization? If you need or want a facility, what type makes the most sense? A nursing home, assisted living, a group home, a CCRC (continuing care retirement community)? How will you pay?

Don’t let this just happen by default. A frequent, terribly sad situation is when an older adult who already has some issues, such as mental health or developmental disability issues or substance use, is taking care of a family member. As the caregiver gets older, they’re no longer able to provide the needed support, and the tables turn. A younger person with real challenges thrust into a caregiving position can be a recipe for disaster. So address these issues well in advance.

3. Assume older caregivers can do it all alone and there is no need to involve anyone else.

Consequences: Caregiving should not be a solo endeavor, but many of these people are very much alone. So, divide the tasks: Who is going to help out on what day? Who is going to handle insurance issues? Who will drive Mom to doctor’s appointments and help with groceries?

Caregivers can’t go it alone for very long. Talk about how you’re going to support the caregiver as well as the older person.

4. Don’t plan on paying for long-term care — there’s always Medicare.

Consequences: Medicare pays only for rehab, hospice and acute care and even then with limits. It does not cover long-term care. Most private health plans do not pay at all. The expenses can wipe out a family’s finances.

Once a person is impoverished, Medicaid will cover long-term care, but it can be hard to find caregivers or a quality nursing home that accepts Medicaid. We do not have a coherent long-term-care system.

It is many families’ biggest uninsured expense. People need to understand that going in.

5. Don’t name a trusted person for your financial institution to contact in case of suspicious transactions on your account.

Consequences: Older Americans often are targeted for their money — which can be gone before you even notice that something is wrong. By adding a trusted contact to your account, the financial institution will have another person to call to say, “We think something is going on here that is problematic.”

6. Don’t designate a power of attorney for health care or finance until there is a medical emergency or a diagnosis of dementia or Alzheimer’s.

Consequences: A power of attorney is a private agreement between two people and requires mental capacity to contract. If you don’t enter into a power of attorney while the person still has mental capacity to do so, you’re stuck and your family is stuck with an expensive and onerous guardianship proceeding that strips you of your rights.

7. Don’t worry about staying in touch with other people.

Consequences: Isolation and loneliness are the enemy. They make you more vulnerable in all sorts of ways to worse physical and mental health and for being financially exploited.

8. Assume all doctors are the same and that you don’t need a geriatric specialist.

Consequences: Older people are not just graying or wrinkled adults. We have specific needs. Comprehensive care by specialized geriatric providers improves health and extends independence.

The Measure of Our Age is essential reading for older people and their families and friends, attorneys, accountants, physicians, clergy — in short, anyone who deals on a personal or professional level with the aging population of America.

And you’ll know by looking in the mirror.

The post Eight Don’ts to Keep in Mind as You and Your Loved Ones Age appeared first on Dennis Beaver.

The stock market has recently been in a free-fall. America has not experienced this level of fear since the days of the polio epidemic, which, at its peak in the 1940s and 1950s would paralyze or kill over half a million people worldwide every year.

During those decades, polio outbreaks in the U.S. crippled an average of more than 35,000 people yearly. Parents were frightened to let their children go outside. Travel and commerce between affected cities was restricted. Public health officials imposed quarantines on homes and towns where polio cases were found.

Sound familiar?
America survived polio with the development of vaccines in 1955, rendering the country essentially polio-free since 1979.

The Coronavirus – Estate Planning Attorneys Kept Busy

“Suddenly business owners – from mom and pop shops to CEO’s of large corporations–are meeting with estate planning lawyers like no other time than I can recall,” says Bakersfield estate lawyer, Patrick Jennison. Appointment books are getting filled.”

Jennison’s experience is validated by estate attorneys I spoke to across the country, including Tom Hjerpe and Angela Petrusha, from Eureka, California. Their paralegals told me, “We are getting calls from folks who have put off establishing an estate plan and can’t wait to see us.”

Petrusha observes, “People are afraid of their entire family getting wiped out. Business owners want to be sure that a plan is in place which will assure the continuity of daily business operations.”

Over 60? – Need to Assure Continuity of Daily Personal and Business Activities

As this virus has a special ability of wreaking havoc on people over 60–that segment of the population who are business owners or CEO’s of major companies–it is critical to address the ‘What if I get it’? now and not put this off,” Jennison observes, asking:

“If you are a business owner do you have a succession plan in place for the operation of your business in the event of your incapacity and the management and ownership of your business if you die?”

In fact, all the estate lawyers I spoke with were in complete agreement as what Americans–especially business owners–need to know, and do now.

So, here is a paint-by-the numbers list of things to address if you do not have an estate plan in place that deals with the possible contingencies caused by the Coronavirus, or as Petrusha puts it, “The need to have a Remote Contingent Beneficiary.”

“Especially now, you need to have a ‘Plan C’ where everyone is wiped out, including your contingent beneficiaries, such as grandchildren. So, your estate plan would contain a paragraph essentially stating, ‘If all else fails–if the people I have named to receive money or property have died, then, I would like my estate to pass as follows.’

“People will typically mention charitable organizations, or other specific beneficiaries so they still have control over what happens with their estate, rather than have the state in which they reside decide under the rules of intestate succession.”

I asked, “What happens if in my will or trust documents I say, ‘Under no circumstances is any of my property to go to my good-for-nothing, miserly cheapskate sister-in-law, and she dies–the whole family dies–and I have not created a ‘Plan C?”

“Then,” Petrusha answered, “Your property might easily pass to her surviving heirs under the state’s laws of interstate succession. So you will have failed to keep your property out of their hands even if it’s not what you wanted. That’s why this ‘Plan C’ is so important.”

Establish a Power of Attorney

But what if not everyone is wiped out, but key decision makers as well as heads of household–fall ill, become temporarily incapacitated and are not able to pay bills, taxes or take care of family and business related financial obligations? Then what?

Hjerpe, Jennison, and Petrusha each provided an identical answer: “You need a Durable Power of Attorney.”

Let’s say the virus has landed you in a hospital, or you are bottled up at home and can’t get out to take care of business, and/or and your ability–your mental capacity–to manage your affairs is impaired because of illness. Having a Durable Power of Attorney in place allows a trusted friend, family member or perhaps business associate to take money out of your bank account, pay your bills, even make a court appearance for you.

“That person becomes your agent–your feet on the ground–and can legally act for you, so be careful who you select,” Hjerpe stressed, adding, “Giving that power to the wrong person is an invitation to be taken to the cleaners, so be careful!”

Have An Advanced Health Care Directive in Place

An advanced health care directive is a document that explains how you want medical decisions about you to be made if you are unable to make these decisions yourself. It allows your health care team and loved ones know what kind of care you want, or who you want to make decisions for you when you can’t.

“In this age when more and more people are living together without being married, having an Advanced Health Care Directive can prove incredibly important, depending upon in which state you reside in and if you have established a Domestic Partnership,” Jennison points out.

“If not, and you are not married, then the well partner could be viewed as a ‘stranger’ and have no rights to be informed about your health or treatment. Also, that person would have no input into important health decisions.

“You do not want to be in a situation where your financially incompetent son or daughter has this power to end your care–to end your life–looking for an easy way to grab mom or dad’s money,” he underscores.

Where is Everything?

For many of us, our financial lives are online. And lots of people do not receive bills in the mail. Now, assume that you wind up in the hospital, on a respirator, unable to communicate, bills are piling up but no one knows your banking passwords, internet provider, Netflix, other bills and on it goes. Or, you have a safe-deposit box, but only you can get in.

How do we address those issues? Petrusha asks these questions:

“Do all appropriate family members have essential information in the event of your incapacity or death, including the location of important estate, business and financial documents, names and contact information of accountants, attorneys, investment advisors and related business professionals?

“Create a journal listing all these people, the bills you pay monthly, insurance, tax, and so on, to lessen the burden on family members from scrambling to re-construct your financial life. It is difficult for most people to imagine the challenge of working through both grief and the financial realities following death or incapacity. So, consider the people who you love, who love you and lessen their burden. Taking the time to this will give you (and them) great peace of mind.”

Hjerpe stresses the importance of knowing who your current bank account, life insurance, IRA or pension beneficiaries are.

“These things are outside of an estate plan and are governed by contract law. So often a couple divorces but changing the designation of a pension beneficiary is overlooked and remains the same for decades. Then the divorced spouse remarries, he or she dies, but pension benefits go to the former spouse listed as beneficiary! It is a very sad situation, and completely avoidable.

“Be sure you know who are listed as beneficiaries on bank or investment accounts with a Pay Upon Death clause. Have a contingent beneficiary in the event the first person pre-deceases you.”

“I’ll Will Put My Son’s Name as a co-owner of my house – That’s How I Avoid Probate!”

“We hear that often, and it is so dangerous! Consider the possibility that your son causes an auto accident? You could be forced to sell your home if he is sued! Also, by making him an owner now, upon your death he loses the ‘Stepped up tax Basis,’ which could cost him thousands of dollars in lost inheritance capital gains tax. Don’t do it! Without the approval of your CPA and attorney, do not put assets in joint names,” Jennison cautions.

Have a Family Meeting Now

The three California lawyers I interviewed for this story, as well as every lawyer I spoke with, coast to coast, had this compassionate advice, which I paraphrase:

“This is the time for a family meeting with–hopefully–your mature, financially competent adult children so the transition of management and wealth within the family can be effectively handled.

“The ongoing threat and reactions to the Coronavirus are causing us to engage in deep reflection regarding our personal health and wealth which is especially important to business owners and CEO’s.

“A significant percentage of Americans have never had a living trust and the accompanying estate planning documents prepared by an attorney who specializes in this area.

“Many have had such a plan prepared but it has not been reviewed in several years. Let us hope the virus will simply fade away, but until then, your own mental health will be so improved by addressing these issues now.”

Dennis Beaver practices law in Bakersfield and enjoys hearing from his readers. Contact Dennis Beaver.

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In addition to all the other issues which revolve around getting older, a significant percentage of America’s aging population have more things to deal with, as the following email from Central California reader “Annie” describes:

“Paul, my husband, is 86 and I am 74. “Becky” our granddaughter has asked us to co-sign her student loan, but we don’t know the amount or repayment terms. In September she will begin her first year at a state college, but we don’t know where or what she plans to study.

“We are getting pressure to sign from her mother – our daughter — but are worried. What are your thoughts on the subject?”

All the signs of financial elder abuse

When we receive this type of a request – especially when from elderly readers — three words immediately come into mind: Financial elder abuse. “Call them immediately” are the next three announced to my staff. You would be surprised at how often we have to reply, “Please send us your telephone number! Don’t do anything until we talk!”Fortunately, Annie’s mail contained information enabling us to find their number. Within minutes the cast of characters in a recurring drama played out daily across America began to assemble, starring roles going to financially irresponsible daughter and, following mom’s example, granddaughter.

“Mom’s credit is poor and can’t be a co-signer so you have to!”

“Becky, and her mom phoned us,” Annie explained, “and said the student loan she is applying for needed a credit-worthy co-signer. But since “June,” our daughter, and her husband had filed for bankruptcy, they do not qualify. The message was clear: If we love Becky, then there should be no question. We must co-sign immediately.

”Annie revealed that June and her husband receive a large, monthly disability retirement check from working in the prison system but are not terribly responsible when it comes to paying bills, yet they drive expensive, new cars.“Their attitude is that we owe it to Becky, and I do not think that is correct,” Paul added.

“All we own is our house, modest savings, and receive Social Security. We do not want to wind up on the street just to prove that we love our granddaughter,” a very tough Annie added.

I felt confident these grandparents could stand up to the daughter’s pressure, but told them “If things get too hot, please call me. I’ll get your manipulative duo on the phone and tell them to back off.”

“I want my inheritance early”

“Lawyers often see situations just like this. It’s a variety of the ‘If you really loved me, then you would buy me that sports car,’ pressure put on parents by manipulative, still living-at home, adult children, Hanford-based attorney Ron Jones observed when we read him Annie’s email.

Jones sees real threats to the financial security elderly Americans have worked hard to establish, “Coming from those closest to them, a son or daughter who want their inheritance today. They often have a plan that involves mom’s or dad’s attorney, and it’s something your readers need to be aware of,” he notes.

In The Godfather, there’s a line “A lawyer with a briefcase can steal more than a man with a gun.” As you’ll see, when it comes to stealing from mom and dad, plotting children will attempt to use a lawyer in their plan to obtain an early inheritance, in part, unwittingly helped by soon-to-become victims who think they are doing the right thing.

“Let’s revise your old documents”

“It’s safe to say that more than at any time in the past, older Americans are fully aware of the benefits in having an estate plan. This could be a will or trust, but always:

1. An advanced health care directive/power of attorney for health care, and;

2. A durable power for financial purposes in the event they become incapacitated and cannot handle their own affairs correctly.

In the wrong hands, a power of attorney can render someone homeless, and this is no exaggeration,” he underscores.

“Generally, the durable power of attorney becomes operational when, for example, mom or dad has been diagnosed as impaired. Before that time the power of attorney has no legal effect, unless it has been prepared to give that authority at the time it is signed to become effective immediately, giving that son or daughter power over the checkbook and potentially everything else.

“It’s a sales pitch where unscrupulous adult children suggest the older documents need to be ‘revised,’ so they can ‘provide’ more help now. Help is the operative word – sometimes helping themselves to money and property.“So, Dennis, I hope that if any of this sounds familiar to your readers, alarm bells should be sounding.”

Dennis Beaver practices law in Bakersfield and enjoys hearing from his readers. Contact Dennis Beaver.

The post Recognizing the signs of financial elder abuse appeared first on Dennis Beaver.

“My daughter wants me to sign a general power of attorney for a house we are buying together back east,” Maggie, a reader in Stratford, explained in an e-mail. “It will be in both of our names and I am sending her the money.”

She tells me that a power of attorney — from me to her — is required for this transaction to go through. A friend reads your column religiously and told me to ask you for some advice. Should I sign a power of attorney or is there any other way the home can be purchased?”

A power of attorney is potentially one of the most dangerous documents you could ever sign. After receiving Maggie’s e-mail, I called her. It was immediately clear from the sound of her voice that I was speaking with a poorly educated, elderly woman with little or no understanding of what this legal instrument can do. The longer we spoke, the more concerned I was about this being a classic case of financial elder abuse — by a daughter Maggie admitted hung out with “the wrong crowd.”

A written legal document in which you name a person — or institution, such as a bank — to act on your behalf — that’s a power of attorney. When you’re out of town and unable to handle your financial affairs, a POA is a useful legal instrument — if it’s given to the right person. Whoever has your power of attorney becomes you in a legal sense. The holder of that POA is your agent, referred to as your “attorney in fact.” (Not to be confused with an attorney at law.)

There are different types of powers of attorney, but the ones which would apply to Maggie’s situation are referred to as general or special. The differences are important to understand, and here’s is a brief description of how they work.

By giving someone your general power of attorney, you are allowing that person to act for you — as your agent — in any way that you could do yourself if you were present. He or she steps into your shoes and can make decisions which are legally binding.

This includes, paying your bills, borrowing money in your name, accessing your bank accounts, going into your safe deposit box, buying and selling real property, purchasing life insurance, settling claims, entering into contracts, filing tax returns, obtaining personal health or employment information, selling your house, car, first born, and on it goes.

There is an old saying about the general power of attorney; “If you do not trust the person receiving that POA 10,000 percent, do not sign the document.” In my law practice, I have seen far too many examples of financial train wrecks caused by giving a general POA to the wrong person.

Let’s assume that some kind of POA is necessary, as you’ll be away for a while and a friend or family member has agreed to handle your financial affairs during that time. If we’re talking about making your house payments and related obligations, then a “special” POA is probably all that you need.

The “special” part of this type of POA is the language used to narrow the scope of what can be done with it. For example, in my reader’s case, it would be titled special power of attorney, and would then describe its purpose — buying a home to be in her name and that of her daughter.

This is not to say that Maggie needs to give her daughter a POA in the first place. In most states, she could simply sign those purchase documents in front of a notary, in her own hometown. Generally, as long as the documents are notarized according to state law where signed, they should be acceptable in another state.

Therefore, if at all possible, you want the notary to also comply with state law where the house is located. This can be tricky, which brings us right back to the special power of attorney, as the notary issue would be completely avoided.

What bothered me about Maggie’s situation was her daughter’s insistence on a general POA, combined with the fact that all the money is coming from Momma.

Red flags were fluttering in the wind, the longer we spoke. “Is there a real estate broker involved? An attorney in that state? An escrow agency?” I asked.

“I don’t know about those things, all I want is to buy that house for us, and you’re making this seem very complicated, and it seems that you don’t trust my daughter, Mr. Beaver,” she quietly commented.

“You’re absolutely right,” I replied. “Maggie, all of this scares me. Perhaps your daughter doesn’t really know what is necessary for the deal to go through, or she could have theft of your money on her mind. Yes, that sounds harsh, but what she wants puts your money at risk, with no assurance of getting it returned if the transaction does not go through. There is no guarantee your name would wind up on the deed. You should consider finding an attorney in that town and pay for legal supervision of the entire matter,” I told her, forcefully, hoping to get her attention.

Dennis Beaver practices law in Bakersfield and enjoys hearing from his readers. Contact Dennis Beaver.

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