We’ve all seen news stories where giant swarms of locusts descend on farmers’ fields and within minutes decimate their crops.

But, did you know there is a human version?

That’s right, human “locusts” devouring plate after plate, tray after tray of expensive food items at all-you-can-eat buffet restaurants, in quantities most people would consider unreasonable, and spending hours in pure gluttony.

The justification? “Well, it’s all-you-can-eat, so I’m getting my money’s worth and trying to break the buffet.”

YouTube has dozens of videos showing customers — who have annihilated trays of lobster, prime rib, sushi and other expensive proteins — with long, sad faces, seemingly shocked that the restaurant would cut them off, asking: Can they kick me out of an all-you-can-eat buffet for eating too much?

“We Are Competitive Eaters”

On Tuesday afternoon, Dec. 31, 2024, I received an urgent request to accept a WhatsApp video call from “A reader with a serious legal question.” I agreed, and at once was greeted by folks in an all-you-can-eat buffet restaurant.

“Janine” explained that she and her five friends were warming up for a competitive eating contest at a buffet restaurant. “We each pay for the buffet and then practice eating as much as we can.”

When I asked if they explained their purpose in being there before paying, she replied in an arrogant, entitled, emphatic tone of voice; “No! Why should we?”

Their camera operator sent me real time video of what I can only describe as human vacuum cleaners devouring plate after plate of expensive meat and seafood items: enormous amounts of lobster, crab, and pounds of prime rib.

They were all laughing. I wasn’t.

It reminded me of YouTube Halloween Ring Camera videos of adults with face-masks in ill-fitting costumes emptying entire bowls of candy — intended for kids — into bags and running away: Pure theft.

To me, these competitive eaters were ripping off the restaurant. The owner, on camera, said, “Stop! This isn’t the Las Vegas Bellagio buffet. What you are doing would be wrong there, but this is our family’s livelihood. You are taking so much that my customers have nothing. Get out!”

“I read your column. You help people. This is an AYCE restaurant! Can he do this?” Janine asked. Her attempted innocence and victimization didn’t fool me.

“Janine, in my legal opinion, yes, but lawyers have differing opinions. To be safe, I recommend leaving the restaurant immediately.”

Not Risk Free

Competitive eating, consuming as much as you can, as fast as you can, within a given period of time, is big business. While beyond the space limits of this article, it is important to be aware there have been several deaths during these events, as well as long term health consequences.

Also, there is a moral issue involved here.

In 2023, 13.5% of U.S. households were food insecure, having difficulty providing enough food for their members due to a lack of resources. Author Jane Oliver eloquently puts it this way:

“Competitive eating mocks struggles of the poor who worry about how to put any food on the table to feed themselves and their children. How disrespectful it is for those suffering from malnutrition in famine or drought-stricken regions to see such blatant, unnecessary gorging for the sake of ‘sport.’ These contestants make a game out of stuffing themselves to sickening levels while almost one billion don’t even have access to enough calories”

Legally, can you be kicked out?

“I could not find this issue adjudicated,” Los Angeles-based, Loyola Law School contracts law professor, Bryan Hull says, and suggests, “management should have a time limit, or language that would spell out the terms so that customers know what they are getting into. A restaurant could refuse to serve someone who has abused the system. If they sued, the damages, if any, would likely be the cost of the buffet.”

Fair Dealing and Reasonableness

I discussed this issue with New York-based attorney Catherine Pastrikos Kelly. She has written extensively on the legal issues raised in implied contracts:

“Going to a restaurant and paying for food is an implied contract, and like all contracts, there is a duty of good faith and fair dealing. This means acting in a reasonable manner.

At a buffet, even an all-you-can-eat buffet, a customer would be expected to eat what a person would reasonably eat at one meal.

“For example, it would not mean eating 30 to 40 lobsters or multiple trays of food or practice for an eating competition, for that is not what a reasonable person would do. In situations where the customer is acting outside the scope of what a reasonable person would do, management would be well within their rights to make them stop, or pay extra, and potentially, to leave the premises.”

So a sign that says “all you can eat” doesn’t mean we get to abandon all logic and human decency. Let’s enjoy ourselves within reason.

Dennis Beaver Practices law in Bakersfield and welcomes comments and questions from readers,
which may be faxed to (661) 323-7993,
or e-mailed to Lagombeaver1 – at – Gmail.com.

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“Mr. Beaver, I inherited quite a bit of money from my father recently and have been asked by his much younger brother, “Ben,” (my uncle) to invest in a restaurant he plans on opening.

He ran two restaurants that failed, but has assured me he learned from his mistakes and can guarantee this one will be successful with a 30% return on my investment within a year.

“He wants $250,000, which is almost all the money I inherited. ‘Cindy,’ my wife says that Ben is incompetent, and she will divorce me if I give him the money.

What do you think, Mr. Beaver? Thanks, ‘Harry.’”

I replied:

The best decision you ever made was marrying Cindy. But I disagree with her filing for divorce. My advice to her would be to have you admitted to a mental hospital.

Are you out of your mind giving money to someone who has this track record of failure?

40 Years Gives a Perspective

I ran Harry’s question by Las Vegas-based Eric Barth, who has been a consultant in the hospitality business for over 40 years and has opened over 100 restaurants, casinos and food halls.

I asked, “What mistakes lead to a restaurant failing?”

(1) Failure to Understand the Market – Failure to do a localized market study.

Consequences: You need to understand offerings in the area, pricings, and if you can be competitive based on this data? If you can’t be competitive to what’s available in the market, then you are on a sure path to trouble.

If someone wants you to invest in a restaurant, your first question should be, “Please show me your concept statement and your local market study.” No market study? Forget it.

(2) Write a Menu That Your Guests Don’t Understand

Consequences: If the guests have to Google half the items on your menu, what are the chances they will return? Your job is to help people enjoy the food and experience, not educate them! 80% of what is on your menu needs to be recognizable to your guests. If your menu is listing dozens of ingredients in the descriptions and no one knows what they are, you are going to fail miserably as your customers will not come back.

(3) Fail to Test Your Dishes with Potential Guests, Friends and Family.

Consequences: Just because you like it does not mean the customer will. Invite friends and family to try your dishes and ask them to tell you the truth. Respect their opinions.

(4) Don’t care about creating a great work environment or guest comfort

Consequences: Without a positive internal service culture where the staff cares about helping each other, you will not have a positive external service culture, which is what the guest receives and can feel.

Inexperienced restaurant owners have no understanding of how important this is and partly explains why 60% are gone in three years. Owners who are destined for failure think, “They work for me.” No, they don’t! You work for them!

Pay attention to the details; are the chairs comfortable? Do the napkins fit the concept?

There are industry studies that demonstrate just how important good-quality napkins are.

If you are serving food that your guests will eat with their hands — such as ribs — or food that is very moist and greasy, napkins that resemble bathroom tissue will upset your customers, and they will point this out in their reviews. Are the right condiments available? Every choice is critical.

(5) Fail to learn and grow

Consequences: Good operators are always learning, what sells, what doesn’t— asking why—and trying new items. They make adjustments. Items that are not selling well are always open to be replaced and this is an area where you can experiment and possibly create some great signature dishes.

You will help your restaurant to grow more interest in the community by being aware of what works and what doesn’t.

(6) For a Guaranteed Migraine, Do Business with Family!

Everybody is a restaurant expert in their own mind because they think it is easy. It’s not!

Independent restaurant people work 363 days a year. Whether they like it or not, it is all consuming – enough to badly affect your health and relationships.

“The smartest thing in the world is: Don’t do business with friends and family,” Barth underscores. Don’t invest with friends and family unless you can absolutely afford to lose the money with no resentment. Once that guy loses your reader’s quarter million dollars, can he still sit across the table from him and be in the same room?

My Advice

In my law practice I’ve been witness to the real life tragedy of what happens to families when a restaurant fails, taking with it their retirement savings, homes, kid’s money for college and more.

So, if asked to invest in a restaurant, schedule a consultation with an attorney and CPA with experience in the hospitality area who will run the numbers, do a background check and give you a candid opinion.

Don’t jeopardize your future financial security for what often becomes a losing visit to a casino because you want to please a friend or family member.

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Over the many years writing this column, I’ve listened to thousands of reader’s complaints about customer service, believing they had not received what they had paid for.

Most were acting in good faith, honestly feeling they were poorly treated. Some were mistaken, but no one, not a soul ever said, in so many words, as “Rudy” did – in emails and over the phone -“The company has refused to pay me what I want, and so, Mr. Beaver, I want you to help me extort money from them.”

Describing himself as a “brilliantly talented DJ,” the effort to enlist me into his criminal conspiracy to commit extortion – a felony in all 50 states – began with an email describing a tale of bitter disappointment over the way his steak was cooked at an upscale restaurant in Newport News, Virginia.

“I ordered a filet mignon medium, but it was served rare, and I know they gave me a sirloin instead, ripping me off and was the beginning of my nightmare experience with the restaurant’s management.”

It was also the beginning of Rudy’s harassment campaign against them.

The Power to Harm Reputation is a Powerful Tool

“The internet – giving each of us the ability to comment on anything – has created an avenue for some people to threaten business owners, telling them, “Pay me what I want or I will post negative comments and bad reviews of your company, your people and your products,” says Houston attorney, Paul Sternberg.

His practice concentrates on internet defamation, content removal, online reputation management, and revenge site removal. He wrote The Guide to Internet Defamation and Website Removal, which is a great resource for anyone facing these types of issues.

“It could be a small, mom and pop corner store, family-run restaurant or a major corporation, but the power to harm reputation is a powerful tool in the hands of angry, unreasonable people who often do not take the time to consider the collateral damage their negative posts can cause,” he underscores.

Expired $75 gift card was Honored and Dinner for 3 No Charge

Somehow Rudy got it in his head that in addition to getting the degree of doneness wrong, the restaurant intentionally substituted a sirloin for a filet mignon, which the restaurant denied.

However, their website shows the two cuts of meat, each 7 ounces, and virtually identical in appearance.

“This was false advertising, products liability and consumer fraud,” he maintained, demanding that corporate pay him $500 or else he would embark on an online reputation slamming campaign and file complaints with various governmental agencies and a civil lawsuit.

No matter how clearly I explained that unless he could prove this is intentionally occurring on a broad scale affecting many customers, there is no basis for his belief, and that he was engaging in extortion – pay me what I want or else. The possibility that someone in the kitchen just made a mistake didn’t matter.

Expired gift card still Accepted – Rudy Sends 700 emails!

Most readers tell me the entire story. Rudy conveniently left out the part about his restaurant gift card having expired! (I learned from corporate PR that they still honored it, gave free desserts to his table, and dinner for him, and his parents was free!)

Also, Rudy somehow forgot to tell me that he had sent them 700 (you read correctly, 700!) emails, demanding $500 “or else.”

He also posted this review:

“Worst customer experience. Ruined mother’s birthday due to their horrible treatment and service. Served me a cheap steak misleading me to believe that I was being served a filet mignon. Treat customers like trash. Upper management acts in complete bad faith.”

But Rudy has a slight problem with the truth. As a goodwill gesture, management offered him $150 which I find more than reasonable in light of his behavior. He neglected to tell me that.

What to do When You Know Who Is Complaining

I asked Sternberg for a brief outline of what a business owner should do (1) When the identity of the complaining party is known, and (2) When it is not.

“It is a lot easier to take action against the complaining party when you know who they are and where they are. Typically this should start with a cease and desist letter from an attorney familiar with online defamation.

“The letter should quote the false statements they are posting online, explain the damage this is causing your business, and firmly yet politely request that the posts be removed or face the certainly of legal action. Your response should also be posted online.”

When You Don’t Know Who They Are

Sternberg recommends that you immediately seek legal counsel when defamatory posts appear and you have no idea who it might be.

“With a restaurant, people do not wait a month to post a gripe. But in other lines of work and businesses, ask, ‘Have you had a dispute with any of your clients? Or is the other side upset at losing?’ Try to see who would be a likely perpetrator of the defamation campaign.

“You have to know if you think about it. No one will wait months to complain online. And let’s not forget that economics play a large role in finding out who is behind the defamatory comments. This is where a defamation attorney should be able to help uncover the perpetrator, but is it worth the expense?”

He recommends that business owners always consider filing a police report when faced with extortion, “If an investigator were to call Rudy, it is likely that he would get the message and knock it off.”

Concluding our interview, Sternberg offers this advice to the public:

“Do not send 700 emails! This could get you sued for harassment. People do not realize the damage a bad review can do to a restaurant and its employees. This is why management should try to diffuse the siltation while it is going on.”

And Rudy? The restaurant is considering their options, one of which is to seek a criminal complaint against him.

Dennis Beaver practices law in Bakersfield and enjoys hearing from his readers. Contact Dennis Beaver.

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My paralegal, Anne, buzzed me: “You have two readers on the phone who work at a pizza restaurant and found you after reading your article about the near-mutiny at the seafood restaurant where customers considered themselves victims of a bait and switch. They said their issue is similar to the movie, “Honey, I Shrunk the Kids.”

– Put them though.

In a moment I was speaking with “Edie” and “Floyd” who are both enrolled in an MBA program and work part-time at a chain “casual-dining” restaurant that features steaks and seafood but specializes in pizza. It has over 50 locations in several states and at major airports. I will simply refer to their employer as the “Restaurant.”

“I am curious about the connection between your call and the hysterical “Honey, I Shrunk the Kids” films. Could you explain?”

Edie replied, with a question of her own. “Mr. Beaver, if you came to our restaurant, and as I am handing you the menu, I say, ‘It is impossible to read without using your cell phone QR code scanner because the font size is too small,’ what would you say or do?”

“I would ask for a readable menu. Also I would have you tell me what is the crazy idea with a menu that even people with normal vision can’t read? If you could not produce a proper menu, I would leave.”

Floyd then said, “That’s what is happening at our restaurant and many more in the chain. Management is trying to save money on printing menus, and this is upsetting so many people! Customers are walking out and we are losing tip money, obviously.

“Also, I may be wrong on this, but the ADA – The Americans with Disabilities Act – says that places like restaurants must be accessible to the disabled. A menu that no one can read without some optical assistance strikes me as a possible ADA violation which I mentioned to our manager, but she blew it off!”

They wanted to know if I could help. I would try, but I needed to verify this myself. As we have one of their restaurants in my town, I took Anne there for a late lunch.

As predicted, we were given unreadable menus. If you have ever had a problem with your computer display suddenly shrinking so small that you had to literally touch the screen with your nose to read anything, that should give you a good idea of just how small everything appeared on the menu.

Using her QR code reader was a frustrating experience. We could see why – especially older patrons – would walk out. We ordered the same things that we had there before, but felt cheated by not being able to see what new additions they had on the menu. Our food was acceptable but the art of cooking fish — salmon in particular — escaped their chef, as Anne’s was dry and overcooked.

Comments from Restaurant Owners and Menu Designers

I ran this bizarre “Honey I shrunk the Menu” situation by PR reps at several chain restaurants that were similar to the Restaurant, as well as chefs and menu designers.

The comments ranged from, “Are they trying to go out of business?” to “Doesn’t anyone there recognize the vital role played by your menu?”

I reached the CEO of a New York Italian Style restaurant who said, “This kind of slap-in-the-face of your guests hurts all restaurants. I would be curious as to what they tell you when you speak with them.”

Response from the Restaurant

I e-mailed corporate and in less than 24 hours heard back from “Antoine” who stated:

“Thank you for reaching out regarding your menu experience at our Bakersfield location. We regularly test new menu formats to understand guest feedback and ensure we are creating the best possible Restaurant experience. This menu format was designed to give us flexibility during a time of rapid change in the marketplace.

“We recognize that not all guests responded favorably to the temporary menu and we will be returning to our traditional printed menus in early October.”

Have they violated the ADA?

The Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) was signed into law on July 26, 1990. Its overall purpose is to make American society more accessible to people with disabilities.

Title III of the ADA deals with public accommodations, which includes restaurants.

The question here is, “Would the fact that no one can read the menu without electronic or optical assistance (magnifying glass) create an ADA violation?”

I ran this question by Southern California ADA Defense attorney John Coates:

“What they are doing is making the menu inaccessible to everyone, not just the disabled.

“This was a terrible business decision and exposes them to a risk of being sued under the ADA. How high a risk is up for debate, but they should discard it at once. You just do not treat your customers this way!”

Dennis Beaver practices law in Bakersfield and enjoys hearing from his readers. Contact Dennis Beaver.

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Thinking of taking your staff, clients or family out to a nice restaurant?

Before going, “Please be aware that COVID has not only brought about short term challenges to dining out, but long term issues which will not be to the liking of some patrons,” says Paul Paz, Portland Oregon-based professional career waiter, author and hospitality consultant since 1980.

We have all seen how the restaurant scene has morphed into something unrecognizable, “And it is so sad, as over my many years as a career waiter, I’ve seen just how consistent and stable a focal point for the community restaurants have been.

“Today customer expectations are not even close to what can be delivered. The philosophy of ‘The customer is always right,’ has been replaced with something that can lead to a perfectly miserable restaurant experience.

“With changing legal requirements and levels of frustration that have never been so high, it is easier than ever before to turn a restaurant visit into a real nightmare.” Paz describes how this can occur:

1.  Take out your frustrations about wearing a mask on the servers, ‘Because everyone knows it’s their fault.’

Consequences: You will enjoy the server’s ‘stink eye’ of ‘We appreciate you being a perfect jerk! Enjoy your disconnected, slow service.”

2. Put your chef’s hat on and tell the kitchen staff how to prepare the food they have spent years perfecting. Tell them how to do their jobs because you have been watching the Food Network and know how incompetent line cooks can be.

Consequences: Enjoy your visit with the chef who might ask if you were taught manners as a child. While simple modifications to a dish are possible, something personally whipped up just for you is not, unless it was pre-ordered, as restaurant do not keep on hand the selection or quantity of ingredients that a supermarket stocks.

In a worst case, arrogance and bad attitude will result in service being declined. And yes, restaurants have that right.

3. Forget to tell your server that you can’t have dairy but that cheese is OK.

Consequences: Oh, really? Cheese is dairy! You have just lost credibility. People with serious food allergies announce it early on, usually when they book a table. Kitchen and wait staff take these issues seriously and are concerned about food safety.

4.  Think of yourself master and the server as your servant. Ask “What is your real job?”

Consequences: The hospitality history in America was one where, for many years, immigrants and people of color were the only ones offered employment as wait staff. This created a feeling among many patrons that this was an inferior job, and these people were often talked down to.

We still see this attitude today, regardless a server’s ethnicity or color. There is a stigma that they must only be doing this on a part time basis, as they have some other job, or want to have a “real” job.

Wait staff are still on the receiving end of disrespect, while many are actually highly skilled, career professionals.

Never forget there are lot of ways a server can get even. You and your guests can be provided the worst experience you have ever had dining out and still be made to pay for it. Is it wise or smart? Of course not, but it happens.

In the ‘getting even’ category, a server can forget to put your order in or let your food get cold. Ignoring refills of water or coffee is a classic.

5. Encourage your children to use the restaurant as a playground.

Consequences: Strangers yelling at your kids! When parents fail to supervise their rowdy children who knock over drinks or create other table disasters, servers just walk away, leaving the family to clean the mess, are asked to pay the tab and leave. At once!

6. Attack the restaurant on social media because of petty things, such as the coffee being cold when you failed to ask for a replacement cup.

Consequences: Bad reviews like these have resulted in restaurants closing and putting people out of a job at a time when small business across America is trying to recover.

7.  Yell at the waiter because an item shown on the menu isn’t available.

Consequences: You reveal yourself to have no idea of the challenges facing supply and distribution in today’s economy. It is not the fault of servers or management. Restaurants across the country have had to close for several days because they were unable to obtain ingredients.

Concluding our interview, Paz observes:

“Those of us who work in America’s restaurants, bars, taverns, and cafes are in the hospitality business not the “Let’s upset our customer business.” We want our guests to be happy.

“But the current labor, supply and distribution system is a train wreck. We will all survive by being patient, considerate, and understanding.”

And to close today’s story on a lighter note, for anyone with family members so cheap they come to a pot luck with a “to go” box, just Google: Paul Paz Dennis Beaver.

Dennis Beaver practices law in Bakersfield and enjoys hearing from his readers. Contact Dennis Beaver.

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How often have you shaken your head in disbelief when learning that a decades-old, successful family-owned business has filed for bankruptcy protection, the result of decisions which were supposed to help it survive and keep the children at its helm?

It is a common reality, and, as Lyle Sussman, Ph.D. former Chairman and Professor Emeritus of Management, College of Business and Public Administration, at the University of Louisville observes, “There is a life cycle to any family-run business, and some of the most difficult decisions about its future come at a time when the founders are trying to ease themselves out, looking forward to retirement. Often, owners are pressured by relatives into an expansion mode instead of keeping things small and manageable.”

Three Brothers – Competent Jimmy, Weakling Roy and Con Artist Dave

Some years ago office was proud to have as clients, “Jimmy” his wife, “Katherine,” and their restaurant, simply called “Jimmy’s Place” with a following of customers who would drive over an hour just to dine there.

Great steaks and lobster – a restaurant which consistently offered good food, lots of it at an attractive price would succeed and Jimmy’s did. Then brother “Dave” who had been absent from their lives for years suddenly reappeared and with an idea.

“You two aren’t getting younger and can’t keep this pace up forever, so why not open a second location that I’ll manage, and it will be an exact copy of what you now have. Roy can take over operations of Jimmy’s Place and we will buy you two out?” he suggested, offering no money to invest, but boasted a superior management ability, by virtue of having graduated at the top of his class from law school at the University of California at Irvine.

But there was only one problem with Dave’s educational accomplishments: A law school at U.C. Irvine would only come into existence 15 years later. Dave was a con, a narcissistic, sociopathic con, but Jimmy refused to believe it and over my objections, accepted Dave’s offer, mortgaged everything to build a second restaurant called–you guessed it–“Dave’s Place” in a nearby farming town.

Dave–considering himself a true Restauranteur–wanted it to be a classy place, and so had a “No Hats Policy,” ordering patrons to remove their hats. This, in a farming community, did not go over well, plus his arrogance, led to a boycott of the restaurant, while at home, brother Roy–who had taken over management of Jimmy’s Place–one day didn’t show up. He had checked himself into a mental hospital, unable to take the stress of running a busy restaurant.

Within months, Jimmy had a heart attack, the couple lost their home and all they had worked so hard for wound up in bankruptcy court. How they stayed married was testimony to Katherine’s love.

To Dr. Sussman, what happened was predictable, could have been avoided, and is a good example of the saying, “A family business often goes from rags to riches to rags.”

You Can’t Clone Yourself

“While your example was an established business, so often whenever a startup is successful at one location, owners assume it can be cloned at another. This is especially true with restaurants. But what works now and here, can never be exactly duplicated. You cannot clone success, and even well-established franchise companies will have the occasional failure.

“By increasing scope and scale, problems are created, regardless of how good the concept is. The moment you hire other people to put your vision into practice invariably you are hiring people who are not you. Over time the passion and the vision dissipates. That is the norm and not the exception. They will cut corners and do thing that you would not, in large part because they do not share your DNA, your vision, or the depth of your passion.

Why Small is Beautiful

How often have you seen a restaurant in town open a second location a few miles away, and then in the blink of an eye, they both fold? “Why do they do this? What’s going on with them?” You no doubt wonder. Sussman explains what leads to these awful outcomes:

“Don’t assume that small is bad. Keeping things small and manageable gives you peace of mind and balance in your life. It allows you to run your business without too many accountants and attorneys, providing enough profit to give you the live you want.

“Also, don’t assume that increasing revenues through opening a second or third location will give you more satisfaction. Increasing revenue has a cost – a human cost.”

Sussman wraps it all up with his philosophy that, “Small is beautiful.”

Dennis Beaver practices law in Bakersfield and enjoys hearing from his readers. Contact Dennis Beaver.

The post When Passing the Reigns of Your Business on – What not to do! appeared first on Dennis Beaver.

We’ve all heard the saying, “Penny wise and pound foolish.”

“For business owners, it means focusing on saving money to the point of turning customers away. There has to be a balance between money saving practices and providing service,” Dr. Lyle Sussman, author, consultant, professor of management at the University of Louisville and friend of this column points out.

As you will see, cheapskate business owners send a message to their customers, landlords and suppliers which can have significant consequences.

Too cheap to replace fuel filling nozzles

For anyone living in a very hot or cold climate, the idea of having to hold the trigger on a gas pump’s fuel nozzle is probably the last thing you’d want. Virtually all gas stations use fill nozzles which have a locking trigger latch. When the tank is full, fueling stops.

While we have been told to always turn off the engine — and in some states it is illegal to let the car idle while refueling — reality is that many drivers keep the motor running, start pumping and then jump in their air-conditioned or heated car.

Come upon a gas station that forces you to stand outside, squeezing the nozzle trigger, especially our aging population with weakened hand and wrist strength, what are the chances of returning to the same inconvenient place?

And just why would a gas station owner refuse to equip pumps with customer-friendly fill nozzles?

“We get many complaints that our gas station is the only one they have ever seen without a locking fuel nozzle,” owner’s son “Lee’s” email stated. “New, locking nozzles cost less than $60 each, we only have 12 pumps, and it is a deductible expense. But dad refuses. We are losing business. Our pumps are old and slow as well. People rarely come back.

“We sell a national brand of gasoline and the supplier has told us repeatedly to change the nozzles or they will cut us off. Dad doesn’t care and said that we will just switch brands. Can they do this? And, oh, I almost forgot, we charge more for gasoline than just about anyone in town! What do you recommend?”

Flimsy napkins and tables that only seat four

“My parents are operating a restaurant located in the same spot as another which failed. They just moved right in, keeping most of the decorations, and the tables,” Jenny stated.

“We hand out the cheapest, flimsy, worthless napkins. It is an insult to our customers who are constantly asking ‘May we please have more napkins!’ But a critical problem is that each table seats four. There are no small tables for two, so we have table after table with only two people, while a line is forming, people waiting to be seated, and many just walk away.

“Where my family comes from it is common to share a table with strangers, not the food, as space is limited. Napkins, if any, could be a roll of toilet paper.”

Jenny explained that she repeatedly urged her parents to replace the tables with several smaller ones seating two which could be placed together when couples arrived, but her father refused telling her “That costs money.”

“You would think that, because their daughter has a business degree, they would listen to me! Mom is weak, dad is so cheap, and this is turning away customers, spreading the word that you might have to wait for a very long time to be seated, so we are slowly going out of business!” she said, tearfully.

“The landlord told my parents, ‘In the United States we do not share tables with strangers and you have lived here long enough to know this! Using junk napkins saves you pennies and tells customers they are not important! Your first late rent payment will be the last. Do you understand me?”

“Mr. Beaver, what do you recommend?”

Advice from Dr. Sussman

“Just think of Walmart,” Dr. Sussman began, “where Sam Walton paid people to stand at the front door, greeting customers. They return to Walmart because of low prices, and because they are made to feel welcome by that greeter. It is the exact opposite of what the gas station and restaurant are doing.

“For the gas station, yes, a gasoline refiner not wanting its brand associated with a retailer who is so inconsiderate of customers could stop deliveries. The solution is obvious – replace the fuel nozzles.

“As to the restaurant, the landlord clearly wants them to succeed, so if Jenny has the money, she should buy tables and have them delivered when the restaurant is closed, and toss the junk napkins. It’s what a loving daughter will do, if possible.”

We agree.

Dennis Beaver practices law in Bakersfield and enjoys hearing from his readers. Contact Dennis Beaver.

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What are your rights – and what should you do – when a restaurant’s description of a certain dish leaves out important information, or, what they bring to your table in no way comes close to what most people expect?

While visiting San Francisco, Randy and his wife stopped for lunch at an “Organic Restaurant which had a number of raw food items on the menu in addition to steaks, fish and chips, etc.”

“Their T-Steak Burger was described as a meat-lover’s favorite with both organic beef and Swiss cheese, but no explanation for the ‘T’ was supplied. When ordering I failed to ask what the “T” stood for,” our reader explained.

That was his first mistake, as Randy would soon find out.

“After bringing our orders to the table, the waiter offered me a bib, stating, “Your burger is very juicy.” He also recommended using a fork and knife, but I declined both.”

That was his second mistake.

“My first–and last bite–squirted raw beef, egg yolk, and who knows what else all over me! The ‘T’ stood for Tartare! It was steak tartare, raw hamburger meat! I ran to the men’s room to spit it out.”

Asking why the menu didn’t reveal that fact, and, if he could please order something else, the waiter replied, “Darling, everyone knows what the letter ‘T’ and ‘Steak’ mean, and, you can order something else but still have to pay for the T-Burger.”

“We paid with a credit card. Could I successfully dispute that part of the bill?” our reader asked.

How do you like your Gerber’s?

Years ago, something similar happened to my wife and I – in a San Francisco restaurant – when I ordered “Vegetable Soup,” picturing nice chunks of carrots, celery, peas and a few other things in a light broth.

When brought to our table, the stuff looked like green applesauce, really, just like dark-green applesauce! I politely said, “What is this? I ordered vegetable soup.”

The waiter put his hands on his hips, cocked his head back and replied, “It’s pureed.”

This stuff would pass for Gerber’s Baby Food and I tried to eat it, but it was awful. My wife was enjoying her chicken dish, trying not to laugh too loudly. (When we go out, if something goes wrong, it always happens to me.)

After attempting to eat this hideous pureed green goo, I asked the waiter if he would bring me something fit for human consumption. “Well, if you insist, we will, but I have to charge you for the soup, dear,” he replied.

Of course there are legal implications to this craziness. The menu should have stated, “Pureed Vegetable Soup,” so leaving the customer in the dark is misleading. Unless it was eaten, charging for the green slop would be improper.

A law professor gives his opinion

“Looking at this from strictly a contract law perspective,” Loyola Law School (Los Angeles) Contracts Professor Bryan Hull commented, “If the only descriptions on the menu were ‘T-Steak Burger’ and ‘Vegetable Soup,’ there would be an issue as to what a reasonable consumer would expect.

“To me, chunks of vegetables and cooked meat – certainly not raw – unless stated in the menu. In cases like this, sellers of food and beverage have been sued for breach of warranty and false advertising. If the soup were consumed, then of course the diner would have to pay for it. Most restaurants would just take it back and not charge if the customer tasted it and then said he didn’t like it.

“Unless the bill is over $50, cardholders do not have a statutory right to contest the charge. However, a card issuer might have a policy allowing the bill to be disputed, and so a phone call to find out would be appropriate.

“At the end of the day, probably the easiest and most tempting thing to do would be to write a bad Yelp review of the establishment. That said, there is always a risk of being sued by the restaurant for defamation. While truth is a defense, there are some battles which are best to avoid,” Hull cautions, and we agree.

Don’t get mad – get even

Informed they would not take the charge off our bill, I got an idea and went to the bank next door, obtaining four dollars worth of pennies.
Upon returning, I asked for the check.

Our tip was left in the form of pennies in a nice big circle on the table.

When the waiter returned, he asked, “What’s this?”

My answer: “Your tip – It’s pureed.”

Since I can’t be a lawyer 24 hours a day, I followed my wife’s advice. “Don’t get mad…get even!”

Dennis Beaver practices law in Bakersfield and enjoys hearing from his readers. Contact Dennis Beaver.

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