If you are the parent of a son or daughter who is at college, today’s story about privacy will be of special interest. We begin with two extreme examples of what happens when privacy becomes an excuse for tossing common sense out the window.

Imagine just for a moment being relatives of a passenger on an airplane who was killed when its suicidal Germanwings pilot, 27-year-old Andreas Lubitz, flew it into the French Alps on March 24th, 2015.

Or, picture yourself at home when the phone rings and you hear:

“I’m sorry, but a mentally disturbed student has killed 32 teachers and students, including someone from your family.” That, of course, was the Virginia Tech shooting, which occurred on April 16th, 2007, and was committed by 23 year-old Korean student, Seung-Hui Cho.

How angry, how incredibly furious would you be when it is revealed that it all could have been prevented had the people who knew the danger spoken up? German doctors and university mental health professionals were all aware of how dangerously disturbed, delusional and suicidal these two were. Yet, silence prevailed.

The explanation? “Strict rules assuring privacy.”

Not one of the many German doctors Lubitz saw picked up the phone and called his employer, to warn them of a killer in the cockpit. They have been labeled as cowards, as were the university employees who refused to communicate to each other their fears of Cho killing someone due to concerns of violating university privacy regulations.

It was a proud moment for Benjie’s family when he was accepted into pharmacy school at one of the top rated universities in California. For his parents, it meant that all the years of hard work–long hours spent in their small Manila lumpia restaurant, and saving money–was rewarded. Their large, extended family were proud of them.

“Enrolling Benjie and getting him settled in an apartment was the first vacation we had in years,” his father explained. “You could not wipe the joy off of our faces. We were reassured that our son was in good hands by one of the deans who told us not to worry, that if Benjie had any problems–anything, academically or personally–he would phone us immediately.”

They never heard from the dean again. Why should they? Benjie reported making top grades, kept them well supplied with photos, and a year before graduation, during a visit to California for a wedding, he took mom and dad on a tour of the pharmacy school, explaining in detail what subjects he studied and in which classrooms.

“We were so proud, so happy. There was our baby, all grown-up, handsome in his white, pharmacist’s coat. My wife was in tears, and soon I was too!”

Shortly after returning to Manila a phone call would lead to tears of another sort.
Arriving home and listening to their voice-mail, the couple were stunned to hear a message from Benjie’s room-mate:

“Your son is not going to be a pharmacist. He was in pharmacy school only one semester, switched to business administration and then did an MBA. He was embarrassed, and kept the lies going all these years. He promised to tell you during your visit, but failing to do so, I just can’t look at him, and moved out. What I don’t understand is why no one from the school told you, because you are paying his tuition.”

The answer to that question is F.E.R.P.A. The Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act of 1974 and applies to all schools that receive funding from the United States Department of Education, its website describing the law as:

“Designed to protect students’ privacy by giving parents access to educational records, but not to ‘outside parties’ unless a release, signed by a parent, is first obtained.”

That makes good sense, as prior to this law, schools across the country were profiting from students’ personal information.
But guess who becomes an “outside party” when the student turns 18? Mom and Dad, that’s who! And it doesn’t matter who is paying the tuition! If the student refuses to sign an authorization, faculty can’t legally talk with the parents.

“FERPA is dangerous,” one university Student Health Director told us. “We are forced to violate the law in order to care for students who have significant, on-going emotional issues. Parents are the last people they want to know about their health, often refusing to sign an authorization for us to speak with family members.”

Next time we look at what parents need to do and what donors must know before they give their money to a university.

Dennis Beaver practices law in Bakersfield and enjoys hearing from his readers. Contact Dennis Beaver.

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But first, for readers who are over 30, look back over the past few years. How old were you when life just felt different, the fog of adolescence lifted, you “got it,” and realized “I’m an adult.”

Most people will answer “25, 26 or so,” which is supported by neurological research, and admit that before then, their world was painted in the color immature. How many of us want to remember the embarrassing, impulsive, childish things we thought, said and did at age 18, little or no thought given to consequences?

Just look at the deadly auto accidents caused by 18 year-old adult drivers, trying to beat a train through a crossing, passing on a blind curve, the list is endless. Mature, adult thought and analysis does not suddenly appear on a college student’s 18th birthday. Yet we give them the power to do themselves and others great harm with the help of FERPA, the Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act of 1974.

Intended to protect a student’s privacy — only allowing parents access to school records — upon reaching 18, those rights transfer to the student, the law stating, “College students are considered responsible adults who may determine who will receive information about them.”

While there are some exceptions, a student at a college where FERPA applies legally can prevent mom and dad from knowing if they are ill, attending class, are in trouble academically, or legally.

“This is dangerous,” commented one California university admissions officer–on condition of not naming her campus. “Face it, at 18 you are still a kid, and it is easy to become distracted, lose focus, get into the party scene.

“For many students there is a false sense of being independent, and do not even want to be seen with their parents. This is when they need family more than ever, but unless we have a signed release, generally we can’t say a thing.”

For college students reading this story, you can authorize the school to release information to mom and dad, or any third party, such as a scholarship organization. All colleges have FERPA Waiver/Release forms available for you to sign, date and specify the records to be released, the reason for the release and the names of the parties to whom such records will be given.

“The old saying ‘He who pays the piper calls the tunes’ comes to mind,” the admissions officer pointed out. “If you are paying for your kid’s education, then you should know if that money is being put to good use. When I meet with students and their parents, we discuss privacy rights, and offer them our school’s waiver form to sign. Parents must not be intimated by their brilliant, but still only 18, college freshman,” she cautions.

An IRS approved educational foundation, clients of our office, offered a university foreign language department an amazing gift. “Each year we will send two of your best and financially needy students overseas for a summer study program.”

The foundation had been doing this for over 20 years for high school and college students who provided financial information, and letters of recommendation. Applicants were interviewed on the phone by the foundation’s president, who later joined a panel of teachers at the school.

Every year, after winners were selected, but before their trip, they were invited to lunch with the donors as a way of encouraging the spirit of giving back when out in the working world.

20 years later and close to two million dollars in grants — all from private money — lives were changed in many positive ways.

All went well the first year, students having the time of their lives, studying overseas.

And then the second year no applications were received. Why?

“You cannot have that information! Privacy. FERPA,” the school’s Director of Development explained. “And you should never have had the applications last year, spoken with them or pressured them to have lunch with you,” she yelled.

“What are you talking about? The students simply can sign a release,” replied the foundation’s president. And what do you mean by pressure?” These are 21 year old adults thrilled they would soon be on their way overseas!”

“Just give us the money next year and we will pick the students,” she arrogantly replied.

The foundation has no further relation with the university, its students cheated out of something wonderful by blind allegiance to FERPA.

Dennis Beaver practices law in Bakersfield and enjoys hearing from his readers. Contact Dennis Beaver.

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The trek back to college and university is right around the corner, and that often means having a roommate. Last week we looked at one of the consequences of picking the wrong college roommate – winding up in small claims court over unpaid rent and related expenses.

There is, however, a lot which can be done to limit the chances of things going wrong.

“It begins with a basic understanding of what leads to roommate problems in the first place,” in the view of Jessica Davison from the Center for Peacemaking and Conflict Studies at Fresno-Pacific University. She is a student discipline case manager, and a trained mediator.

If anyone has seen what happens at college when limited life experience meets immaturity, Davison certainly has. “In addition to the pure educational aspects of attending college, the entire experience – and especially having roommates – can be instrumental in developing effective social skills. That begins with understanding what gets roommates in trouble.”

Best friends often make horrible roommates

“It’s when college students don’t talk about reasonable expectations and household guidelines that another roommate will inevitably move in, and his name is Trouble,” Davison cautions.

“It is simply critical to discuss those things which matter to you in your daily life, in that room which you both occupy. So often, we do not ask ourselves the right questions and have flawed expectations. Merely because someone is your best friend does not mean they will make a good roommate,” she observes.

“But when I point this out to best friends, I often find raised eyebrows and skeptical looks. And so I explain, that when you are so close, it is harder to be objective about flaws, and then, when the best-friend/roommate’s behavior is bothersome, we might not speak up soon enough, and resentment builds.”

“It’s what we might not know about that person’s life within the confines of a bedroom that can be the source of trouble. If one roommate is neat and tidy, and the other is a pig, his side of the room an incredible mess, this is a disaster in the making and could easily ruin a long friendship,” she stresses.

An approach to resolve roommate disputes

“It is important to realize that few people are comfortable with conflict, so you want to address as many issues as possible before you move in together. Make your feelings clear on such issues as maintaining a clean living area, noise, friends [in the room] past a certain time, watching TV, and so on. As awkward as this may sound, it is absolutely essential to make a commitment both orally and in writing.”

“Yet, issues will arise, and you need to expect some bumps in the road. In learning how to deal with conflict or differences of opinion in that intimate life setting, you will benefit across a life time,” Davison said.

“Listening is critical, as is how you phrase what you are saying. Instead of, ‘You are a pig!’ try, ‘I have trouble studying in a space which is really messy. We agreed to keep the room clean, clothing kept neat and clean, and respect our needs. This just makes it hard for me when it is not clean. Can we work together on this?'”

When it’s a financial issue – get help

A messy dorm room is one thing. Failure or refusal to pay one’s share of expenses goes well beyond damaging relationships. As credit reports are routinely considered by landlords, potential employers, insurance companies, lenders, and, by the military, the one thing a college student does not need is being sued for rent by a landlord or former roommate. It suggests irresponsibility.

Students who attend schools with mediation and conflict resolution programs, such as Fresno-Pacific University, are indeed fortunate. Should whatever issue arise, they have available an incredibly valuable resource: mediators, right there on campus, trained in the art and science of problem resolution.

“For students who live off campus, money issues top the list of problems, and often can’t be solved without outside help,” Davison notes.

“Be it a legitimate dispute, or just irresponsibility, it’s generally a lot easier to come to a resolution by involving a mediator from your college campus, or through your place of worship.”

When should I just move out?

The Fresno-Pacific University mediator felt strongly that all roommates need to understand that there is a time to simply move out.

“If you have attempted to resolve the issues through a constructive process and it is going nowhere, it may be time to call it quits. This is not a sign of failure or retreat, rather, it can be an intelligent and perhaps the only decision open to you.”

Dennis Beaver practices law in Bakersfield and enjoys hearing from his readers. Contact Dennis Beaver.

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