February 3, 2026  • By Dennis Beaver

Today’s story will be valuable to anyone who is presently looking for a job, or will be in the future.

Graduates are finding now to be one of the most difficult times to land a job. They need every tool available to convince a hiring manager that they are the right fit.

William Vanderbloemen’s Work How You Are Wired: 12 Data-Driven Steps to Finding a Job You Love offers job-searching readers insights such as, “Who am I? What am I wired to do? What should I steer clear from? These are qualities that job seekers need to be aware of and prepared to articulate during an interview to be hired for work that they are best suited to do.”

I consider Work How You Are Wired and Vanderbloemen’s Be the Unicorn, which I reviewed in my 2023 article Four Easy Ways to Get Yourself Fired, as the ideal graduation presents for the business major or MBA in your family, or anyone who wants to learn how to be a standout at whatever career they choose. (I wish that they’d been available when I joined the working world. I would have made fewer dumb mistakes!)

Also, if you know someone who wanders from job to job, Work How You Are Wired will help them to figure out why they are stuck in that revolving door and to find work that matches their motivations, personality, skills, strengths and values.

Here are some of the main points that I discussed with Vanderbloemen in our Zoom meeting:

1. Begin your job search by asking, ‘What am I wired to do?’

If you feel you must take any job to put food on your family’s table, or you are hired for something that you are not wired to do, you will most likely end up hating the job. Unfortunately, many Americans do not like their jobs, according to the Pew Research Center.

So the question is: How do you make sure you don’t interview for a position you’re going to absolutely loathe?

The answer to that begins with a journey of self-discovery and figuring out what you are wired to do — your natural abilities.

Most people have one or two “strength zones,” or areas of competence where they excel. The challenge is discovering what they are.

2. Knowing yourself is imperative before that job interview

There are several commercial personality assessment tests that help discover how we prefer to communicate, work and make decisions — in effect, what occupations we are best suited for and will enjoy doing and even what we should avoid.

These include DISC, Enneagram, Myers-Briggs and the Vander Index, which draws on the 12 success-building habits discussed in Be the Unicorn.

Vanderbloemen notes that Work How You Are Wired provides much of the same useful information as commercially available products without the need to take a personality test. He presents objective data that will help refine the search for employment that matches your strengths, personality, habits and values — in effect, how you are wired.

So, for anyone pounding the pavement and perhaps not feeling on top of the world after meeting with hiring managers, Work How You Are Wired is a gift, as it can show the reader how to discover and articulate their strengths and abilities and figure out which types of positions they are best suited for.

3. Determining your ideal work

Vanderbloemen zeroes in on objective categories of data that can point you in the direction of what you are wired to do, including your communication style, core values, ideal work environment and skills.

The book also helps identify what motivates you and your calling or purpose. Do you have a desire to effect change and have an impact? Do you seek recognition? Do you work best on a team or alone? Are you the one who has a plan or carries out the plans of others? Are you a leader or a follower?

These objective data points open a door to finding not just any job, but the right job for you.

Being prepared for AI-directed interviews

Today, when you sit down for an in-person interview, you’ve got to assume that the questions are provided by AI, and the human interviewer will be looking for clarity, logical structure and consistency in the applicant’s narrative rather than focusing on the applicant’s personality and charm.

After reading Work How You Are Wired, you’ll be more self-aware, and it will be far easier for you to explain why your skills and abilities are a good fit for the job.

Over the years, I have read several “how to get hired” books. Wired and Be the Unicorn are the best I’ve found when it comes to providing job applicants with the insights they truly need in order to land the right job for them, the job they are meant for.

Dennis Beaver Practices law in Bakersfield and welcomes comments and questions from readers,
which may be faxed to (661) 323-7993,
or e-mailed to Lagombeaver1 – at – Gmail.com.

The post This Is How You Can Land a Job You’ll Love appeared first on Dennis Beaver.

When was the last time that you were paying for your groceries or other items, and the cashier asked, “Would you like to round up your total for charity?” Perhaps they didn’t tell you which charity. Or maybe they simply asked, “Would you like to round it up?”

That’s what “Sylvia” and her mother encountered at a home decor chain store that sells bedding, kitchenware and holiday goods.

“After all of our items were rung up, my mom paid in cash, and then the cashier said, ‘Would you like to round it up?’ Mom said, ‘Sure, no worry. There is a shortage of pennies. That’s fine. We don’t need them.'”

“At home, we were reviewing the receipt and saw that the last entry was a 32-cent payment to St. Jude (Children’s Research Hospital). Totally unexpected! We had made a charitable donation without realizing it.

“We don’t object to the donation, but we feel we were misled because we weren’t informed where our money would go and therefore didn’t give our consent.

“I think this is something you might look into, Mr. Beaver. How widespread a practice is this?”

They were indeed misled

Sylvia is right. They were misled, and with Sylvia on the line, I confirmed it by speaking with the on-duty manager at the store, asking her, “Do you have a charity campaign for St. Jude?”

“Yes, we do.”

“Do your cashiers tell customers that ’rounding up’ their total means that their change goes to St. Jude? Or do they just say, ‘Would you like to round it up?'”

She refused to answer but insisted that Sylvia tell her who the cashier was. “Give me the register number on the receipt.”

I repeated my question, which she still didn’t answer. I took her refusal as an admission that, yes, cashiers ask customers if they want to round up their total without letting them know where their money will go.

Of course, who can forget the past few years of constantly being bombarded with “Would you like to give a dollar to XYZ organization?”

But we don’t hear that much anymore, because “checkout charity” has been replaced with the “round it up” verbiage.

Perfect example of impulse giving

America is a generous nation. If you look at the Charities Aid Foundation’s World Giving Index, the United States ranks near the top of countries whose citizens are among the most generous on the planet.

Now, there is giving when you know where your gift is going and you want to donate, but snookering us to give even a few cents to an unidentified cause is more than not acceptable. It is generally considered illegal to solicit charitable donations without revealing the name of the charity and the purpose for which the funds are being raised.

Both federal and state laws require transparency in charitable solicitations to protect the public from fraud.

And when it happens at the checkout counter, the customer has only seconds to decide.

In any other business or commercial setting, we would say, “Wait a minute, I have some questions.”

But when people waiting behind us in line are close enough to hear our conversation with the cashier, the result is pressure — you are being pressured to give your money (i.e., make a buying decision with no time to think it over) to an organization that might not have been identified.

After asking if you’d like to donate, the cashier should say, “And your donation goes to XYZ.”

But that’s not always so, according to the 2025 Charity Checkout Champions Report by Engage for Good and presented by Adyen, which analyzed 92 point-of-sale (POS) fundraising campaigns that raised over $275 million in 2024. The report found that only 74% of the campaigns clearly identified the benefiting charity.

I spoke to an executive of one of the North American companies that helps businesses collect donations for charities at checkout. He asked that he and his employer not be identified because the information he shared with me is more frank than his employer would prefer. Once I promised not to share his identity, he was quick to admit:

“We show cashiers how to seize on a customer’s psychologically weak moment, when their donation could be going to a group they might not approve of and would never give their money to.

“But impulse giving is huge in the charity business, and so your very presence in the checkout line lends itself to being pressured into making a split-second decision for an altruistic reason.

“Unless full disclosure is made about the recipient of the donation, this is highly unethical, but (businesses get) away with it all the time.”

Findings on impulse giving

Fifty-three percent of Americans donate impulsively at the checkout counter, according to a 2024 survey conducted by Binghamton University researchers. They found:

• Impulse giving is often driven by social pressure, emotional appeal and the ease of the transaction.

• The donation request is embedded in a moment of financial exchange, making it feel like a small, convenient act of generosity.

• Many consumers report feeling guilty or obligated when prompted, especially in face-to-face retail settings.

• Younger customers are more likely to give impulsively than older people.

What businesses should do

The executive I spoke with offered these suggestions to help retailers that adopt checkout-charity programs do everything correctly and steer clear of trouble:

1. Name and describe the charitable organization.

• The name and purpose of the charity should be clearly displayed at the checkout

• You should verify that it is recognized by the IRS as a 501(c)(3) nonprofit

2. Provide an explanation for how customers’ funds will be used.

• Include administrative or processing fees

• Break down how much goes directly to the cause

3. Ensure funds are given voluntarily and that informed consent is obtained.

• Your workers should make it clear that the donation is optional

• Customers should be told that they can decline

• Your workers should not use language that invokes pressure or guilt

The executive concluded our interview with these cautionary words for retail businesses: “Checkout charity is highly effective, and at the same time, we are hearing more and more objections to the pressure to donate. My fear is this has the potential to backfire one day.”

All that said, checkout charity isn’t a bad thing when it’s done right. According to a Charity Watch blog, checkout donations allow charities, especially smaller ones, to raise significant amounts of money from a much larger pool of donors than they could normally reach. And because the process is part of a transaction that’s already being conducted, the fundraising expenses are much lower.

So the bottom line here is that shoppers should make sure that they are aware of what they’re donating to before they hand over even a small donation at the checkout. Here’s what you can do if you encounter a request to round up your total:

• If the cashier isn’t clear about what the money will be used for, ask.

• Don’t hesitate to ask further questions about the charity. Maybe it’s one you’d be happy to support.

• If you’re not interested or feel there isn’t enough information available, simply and politely say, “No, thank you” or “Not today.”

Dennis Beaver Practices law in Bakersfield and welcomes comments and questions from readers,
which may be faxed to (661) 323-7993,
or e-mailed to Lagombeaver1 – at – Gmail.com.

The post When Checkout Charity Gets Uncomfortable — and Maybe Even Illegal appeared first on Dennis Beaver.

Update: California Fish Grill has let us know that they have tweaked their menu options. Their note is included at the bottom of this article.

Today’s story will be of special interest to people who have some of the most difficult and often highly frustrating jobs — restaurant servers.

When a customer orders “fish and chips,” what should be on the plate?

The answer for most people: enticing pieces of battered fish filets and French fries, right?

Well, one seafood chain restaurant is defying expectations — and not in a good way.

Imagine you have years of experience in hospitality, and this is your first day at a restaurant that specializes in seafood dishes. You were warned by coworkers that how one item on the menu is served has angered guests because, by default, it does not come the way most customers would anticipate.

When ordered at the counter, it does not automatically come with fries, your coworker says. The menu — posted on a wall — says ‘Fish and Chips,’ but it fails to state that unless fries are selected as a side (at no extra cost), it will be served without them.”

A call from upset customers

On a recent Sunday afternoon, a few of my older readers who had just left a Southern California location of this “sustainable seafood” restaurant called me. “Several of us ordered fish and chips, with vegetable sides,” one said, on speaker, “and we wound up feeling like we’d been victims of misrepresentation.

“No one had ever heard of fish and chips being served without fries, but that is what we got. Our embarrassed server admitted this creates a great deal of confusion and upsets customers.”

Another said, “This is like ordering spaghetti and meatballs, bacon and eggs, biscuits and gravy, peanut butter and jelly or any recognized dish that has two or more components, but you get only half of it.”

I called several locations to confirm this

After I did some online research, it was clear this was not a unique situation. To confirm it was a widespread practice, I phoned several California Fish Grill locations around the country and asked, “When I order fish and chips at the counter, what does it come with?”

Answers varied, including:

• “Unless you specify fries from a choice of sides, you won’t get them.”

• “Your fish will be on a bed of salad.”

• “The fish will be on a bed of fries.”

• “You’ll get just fish by itself if you do not select a side.”

“OK,” I said each time, “how do I know that I have to select fries from the sides (in order to get the chips part of the meal)?”

The answer: You won’t unless you’re told, and you might not be informed.

Interestingly, one highly insightful employee said, “You sound like a reporter or a lawyer. If you are, may I call you back?”

I agreed, and he did return my call, at which time he raised other aspects of this craziness. (He requested anonymity for fear of reprisal.)

“Being a server is tough enough without the employer creating a situation where unhappy customers yell at you,” he said. “I am attending law school and wonder if they have ever heard of a toxic workplace suit or a class action, because that is what they are risking.”

He is correct.

The company’s response

I phoned California Fish Grill’s Southern California headquarters and was referred to a very friendly employee in the marketing department who asked that her name not be used, and I always respect such requests.

“Fries automatically come with the child’s plate,” she pointed out. “Guests may select (fries) from a list of sides, and if you place your order from a kiosk, then automatically (the fish and chips) come with fries.”

Somewhat mixed messages, right? And this practice doesn’t take into account research showing that younger customers are more apt to use kiosks to order food, while older people in general say they feel rushed or confused while using a kiosk and prefer human contact.

She had no explanation for why fries were not automatically part of every fish-and-chips order. She said “someone higher up” in the restaurant chain would call me. I am still waiting.

Would this be a violation of truth-in-menu laws?

I ran my reader’s situation by Minneapolis business attorney Aaron Hall, who has written extensively about truth-in-menu laws. His first response was, “Dennis, are you kidding me? Is this for real? No way!

“Truth-in-menu laws are intended to prevent deceptive marketing, protect consumers from fraud and promote fair competition within the food industry,” he underscored. “Violations can result in fines, business penalties and reputational harm.

“Restaurants are required to serve what is listed on the menu. Items that have two or more components — such as fish and chips, spaghetti and meatballs, biscuits and gravy — must contain the stated components.

“A restaurant whose menu lists fish and chips, but when served, by default, comes without the French fries unless a customer specifically orders them would be deceptive and subject to civil lawsuits and potential criminal penalties, depending upon the jurisdiction.”

Stephen Barth, attorney and professor at the Conrad N. Hilton College of Hotel and Restaurant Management at the University of Houston, had a two-word reply to my question: “How would you describe this nonsense?”

“Rather deceptive,” he said.

A class-action superior court judge’s opinion

A longtime friend of this column, California Superior Court judge “Tony,” who has presided over class-action lawsuits, commented, “Not only misleading, (but it) could amount to false advertising and also would be considered as unfair competition. If the economics worked out, we could be looking at a class action. This is an insult to customers.”

Finally, one comment sums up this craziness, from Las Vegas-based Eric Barth (Stephen’s brother), who designs restaurants and food halls. “I don’t understand what they are accomplishing by this. The confusion alone when guests are served probably makes the service team and management crazy. Sometimes people in my business never fail to amaze me.”

What you can do if you encounter an issue like this

If you are missing an item from a restaurant meal that you feel should have been included (such as the “chips” portion of “fish and chips,” here’s what you can do:

• First, don’t take out your frustration on the servers. They only work there.

• Do not eat the food until the issue is addressed. If the server claims the item is an extra charge, politely point out that it is shown on the menu, which implies its inclusion. A reputable restaurant should provide it at no extra cost to maintain good customer relations.

• If the server insists on charging extra, ask to speak with the manager or owner. Most will try to resolve the issue to ensure customer satisfaction and avoid negative reviews or complaints about false advertising.

• You are not obligated to pay for an order that was not as described or to which you did not agree. A reasonable approach is to pay for what you did consume and deduct the price of what was missing.

After all of this, I feel it’s important to point out that California Fish Grill has earned the praise many customers give it. Aside from this fish-and-chips controversy, the restaurant’s food is excellent. In fact, it has become part of our weekend routine: California Fish Grill for lunch, followed by a visit to Aldi.

Let’s just hope that management wakes up before local district attorneys and state attorneys general wake them up.

The California Fish Grill team responds:

“Thank you for bringing this to our attention. Our goal is to always provide as many choices as we can for our guests, but it appears that with our Fish and Chips, our customization options have inadvertently caused some confusion.

“We really want to clear this up, just like our Grilled Plates & Taco Combos, our Fish and Chips have always been offered with two sides. Our Fish and Chips have historically been offered with French fries and kaleslaw, but both sides can be swapped out for other choices if a guest chooses to do so.

“As mentioned, we can see how this can be misinterpreted, so we’re making a few simple changes. Our Fish and Chips now come standard with French fries and a choice of one additional side. As you point out, you expect Fish and Chips to have French fries, so this option will not be modifiable.

“If a guest is not a fan of French fries, they can order a soon-to-be-offered “Battered Fish” dish where they are able to choose any two sides so that everyone can make their meal exactly how they want.

“We hope this will bring clarity, while still allowing our guests the flexibility and options they love.”

Dennis Beaver Practices law in Bakersfield and welcomes comments and questions from readers,
which may be faxed to (661) 323-7993,
or e-mailed to Lagombeaver1 – at – Gmail.com.

The post Fish and Chips? More Like Fish and a Side of Customer Confusion and Anger appeared first on Dennis Beaver.

Our September 5 article, The Unsung Hero of Aisle 5: A Tale of Forgotten Change and Compassion at the Supermarket, led to many comments from readers across the country, including this email from “Wyatt,” a grocery store manager in the Midwest:

“Your story about forgotten change and kindness has been commented on in blogs by store personnel across the country who, on a daily basis, help families struggling to keep food on the table.

“You highlighted an aspect of our lives that is seldom acknowledged by the media. Often, contrary to explicit corporate instructions to toss food that is technically expired — but otherwise perfectly fine — many store managers tell service groups to meet us at the trash bin to take what they want before it is thrown away. But that is not why I am writing to you.”

Supermarkets move items around regularly

A short time later, on a video call, Wyatt gave me an earful of insider information, describing a strategy that grocery stores all over the country use that is “increasing the risk of theft from shoppers.”

“At one time,” he said, “when going to the store or sending our kids, we knew where everything was located, and that kind of order and predictability was especially important for older people with mobility problems. They often do not have the luxury of time to wander the floor, searching for items that are not in the same place.

“When supermarkets (move inventory around), it becomes terribly frustrating to customers because staples and familiar items are harder to find. Not only is this upsetting, but it opens the door to theft by pickpockets who take advantage of shoppers being distracted, their purse or wallet an easy grab.”

He added, “Today, a trip to pick up groceries can cost you many times the price of what’s in your basket, because supermarkets are … (creating) ideal conditions for theft by shoppers from shoppers.”

Wyatt pointed out that stores employ this strategy even though customers express “a high degree of dissatisfaction” with it.

So, while we’re already dealing with the frustration of higher prices, why are the corporations that run our nation’s supermarkets making a trip to the store so complicated?

Wyatt’s answer: “Management often does not care one iota about making the shopping experience simple. (This strategy) has proven to increase what we call ‘basket size,’ meaning that, by wandering the aisles, shoppers will find products new to them and will buy more. A lot of people call that manipulation, and I agree that that’s what it is.”

This strategy is a favorite with thieves

Wyatt referred me to “Tony,” a loss prevention officer who works at his store and has 25 years’ experience. He had strong feelings about the risks being created by poor supermarket design/remodeling and in-store marketing strategies “that are making it easy for someone to steal your purse or wallet.”

“Even with video surveillance,” he noted, “when we can see it happening in real time, it is difficult to stop these thefts from taking place. The activity of pickpockets is often under-reported and leads to damaging customer trust in not only the store where it happened but, as we have seen, across the entire chain.”

He listed circumstances and places when shoppers can be the most vulnerable to theft by other shoppers:

Forced proximity to others. Narrow aisles near entrances and exits that place customers close to one another, especially in sections of the store that require moving away from your cart for a moment, such as when you’re perusing produce. This creates distractions that result in ideal conditions for theft right out of your cart.

Cramped checkout lines. Thieves admit — and video surveillance confirms — that both regular and self-checkout lines create cramped spaces that, when combined with inattention, make it easier for pickpockets to operate unnoticed.

For example, you might get your cash ready, place it in your open purse and then place your items on the moving belt. When you notice your cash has been swiped, if several people are in line with you — unless someone saw the thief in action — who are you going to blame?

“Or, as we have seen,” Tony said, “at times, the victim even forgets they had left their money accessible, as they were so preoccupied with loading items onto the belt!”

Other distractions. Product demos and impulse-purchase displays grab attention, making customers less aware of their surroundings and belongings.

Recommendations to protect customers

I asked if either Wyatt or Tony had sent recommendations to upper management for ways to protect customers in the five stores the company owns.

“We did, anonymously,” Wyatt said, “as these days, it is a big risk if you want to keep your job.”

Tony added, “I can see a huge lawsuit against a store’s owners if someone sustains physical injury during efforts to prevent a pickpocket from taking their property.”

They shared these recommendations to help protect customers from theft:

Widen aisles to improve traffic movement, which should eliminate bottlenecks. This would make suspicious behavior far more visible.

Make cameras visible and aim them at entrances, exits, checkouts and congested zones.

Post signs in loud colors that state, “Pickpockets will be prosecuted. Customers, please do not leave your belongings unattended.”

Dennis Beaver Practices law in Bakersfield and welcomes comments and questions from readers,
which may be faxed to (661) 323-7993,
or e-mailed to Lagombeaver1 – at – Gmail.com.

The post Supermarkets Have Become a Pickpockets’ Paradise: How to Avoid Falling Victim appeared first on Dennis Beaver.

Today’s article was prompted by the chief human resources officer (CHRO) at a Texas-based agricultural sales company wanting to discuss a topic that she feels would be valuable for college students, recent graduates and new hires.

“I have been in HR for over 30 years at a company that places high value on a supportive, positive work environment. Never have I seen so many recent hires let go — some within a week! I am speaking of Gen Z, born from 1997 through 2012.

“Over and over again, we find some of them completely unprepared for actual employment and lacking fundamental social skills or anything resembling a work ethic.

“In contrast to other generations, some in Gen Z have enormous deficits in their interpersonal skills. When it comes to showing appreciation — just saying ‘thank you’ — for help given to them by coworkers and supervisors, some reek of entitlement, have a lack of civility and say nothing.

“We offer summer internships for agricultural business majors and send students around the country — even abroad — for hands-on experiences. Seldom do any send a thank-you card, in our experience, or even call to express appreciation.

“In part, I blame their universities for not requiring students to take the time to show gratitude. This ghosting is an insult.

“Something’s wrong. Perhaps some of the people you’ve interviewed over the years might have an explanation and insight for us. Thanks, ‘Dallas’ from Dallas.”

Dallas’ comments about Gen Z are not new. A Cake.com study, Gen Z in the Workforce, reveals that 40% of leaders feel that some in Gen Z are not prepared for work. Seventy percent of managers said they feel Gen Z lacks communication skills and a work ethic.

Yet, in an NSHSS Career Interest report, 65% of Gen Zers “acknowledge they will have a lot to learn, and they’re eager to do so.”

I ran Dallas’ comments by two business professors and friends of this column — Lyle Sussman, professor emeritus in the College of Business at the University of Louisville, and David D. Schein, professor in the Cameron School of Business at the University of St. Thomas-Houston. Here is their analysis, which I have paraphrased.

Our world of digital communication leads to a lack of interpersonal skills

Generation Z, unlike Baby Boomers, grew up with a remote control in their hand, never having to get up and manually change the channel on the TV. You just push a button, and there it is! This, among other things, has no doubt contributed to a sense of entitlement in some individuals that Boomers didn’t experience.

Some Gen Z college students lack interpersonal skills in part because of a reliance on digital communication, which greatly reduces personal interaction and inhibits the learning of social cues, which can result in psychological immaturity.

In the working world, we expect civility and gratitude. An environment that lacks those elements can become toxic, impacting relationships with co-workers, vendors, investors and customers. People lose their jobs or quit. Employment litigation costs are impacted.

The professors commented that it all begins at home and wondered whether some children are actually taught manners these days.

Employees lacking essential social skills will not last long

It is fundamental — and common sense — to thank a colleague when, for example, a new hire in a sales organization is given a lead that becomes a sale. Failing to do so is a slap in the face to the colleague, which implies, “Why should I thank you? That’s part of your job!”

Employees who lack such obligatory social skills damage morale and will not last long.

The key question today is, “What do we do with these young adults? How do we get them to understand the importance of what we are discussing? What can be done for an 18-year-old who grew up never hearing the words ‘please’ or ‘thank you,’ who had a remote control, cell phone and computer, all contributing to a sense of entitlement?”

Most likely, that person will have to learn the life lessons of being denied employment or not getting the promotion and, at some point, realize that they are the agent of their own fate, that their lack of being kind and considerate of the feelings of others is a form of self-sabotage.

Good manners are noticed, Sussman said. “When we see students interact in a mature way that exhibits good manners, as it is so rare, we think, ‘That’s a future successful person — a good boss or a competent, respected professional.”

Another issue is that too many business students do not watch or read the news. “They need to know what is happening both on Wall Street and Main Street. By spending five or ten minutes a day with the news, they will be the person who stands out at a job interview,” Schein suggested.

Filling in the gaps with etiquette coaches

Today, major corporations are employing etiquette coaches, who, during the onboarding process, advise new hires on how to diplomatically interact with colleagues and others. Being taught these principles from day one helps new employees see how positive interactions with coworkers and customers are essential to the company’s culture.

They are shown how to smile while communicating, make eye contact, say “please” and “thank you.” They’re counseled on how to show empathy, to be human beings who are able to show concern for others.

Both Sussman and Schein concluded our interview by suggesting a return to the way children were raised in the past.

“Somehow,” Schein said, “families need to take a few steps back to the time when children were taught manners, could give good eye contact and truly listened instead of merely hearing.”

What you can do

If you find yourself in a situation in which a colleague, Gen Z or otherwise, did not respond to you appropriately, Sussman recommends:

• Schedule a face-to-face, private meeting with your coworker.

• Assertively, not aggressively, describe what they said or did (offense by commission) or failed to say or do (error by omission).

• Highlight why that was unacceptable.

• Obtain a commitment that the specific offense will not be repeated and that they can and should do better.

Dennis Beaver Practices law in Bakersfield and welcomes comments and questions from readers,
which may be faxed to (661) 323-7993,
or e-mailed to Lagombeaver1 – at – Gmail.com.

The post Want to Advance on the Job? Showing Some Courtesy and Appreciation Could Help appeared first on Dennis Beaver.

“Mr. Beaver, something we all take for granted,” wrote “Neal,” a manager for a large supermarket in Atlanta, “is paying for our groceries and receiving change.

“The cashier’s role in these transactions is important, so to be sure that customers receive all their change, training manuals for new, inexperienced hires instruct” that they count back change aloud and, if coins are dispensed automatically, indicate that so the coins are not forgotten.

Of course, you don’t need a legal education to know that the cashier has to make sure the customer is at least given the opportunity to take their change, bills and coins.

But what if a customer forgets to take all their change? If another customer doesn’t take it, what should the store do with the money?

A kind store manager

Neal then shared the following incident, which began in the parking lot while he was tending to carts. A mom waiting in the car with an infant had given “Kitty,” a little girl of about 11, a shopping list and money.

“With a big smile, the girl returned with her purchases and the receipt, but no change,” Neal wrote. “She should have had 75 cents and told her mother, ‘I forgot to take it.’ Mom sent her back, but the checkout line was closed, and her money was gone. Kitty returned to the car in tears.”

Neal noted that it appeared to him that the family needed that change. So he approached the woman and said, “‘Please, all of you, follow me inside.'” He led them to the checkout counter, which was now closed.

An employee reported that, yes, 75 cents had been forgotten, and she had looked for the little girl but could not find her. So she’d placed the money in a donation box at the register, which now contained only three quarters.

“I handed them to Kitty,” Neal wrote.

But that wasn’t all he did. He next instructed the store’s assistant manager to escort the woman and her children through the aisles so they could fill a grocery basket with “whatever they needed.”

“Mr. Beaver, among the employees who were present, there wasn’t a dry eye. With food prices so high, I felt — and our management agrees — that we need to help those in need.”

How does forgotten customer change impact the supermarket?

Neal outlined the consequences of forgotten change to the supermarket, which might be surprising for some readers. “It is a time-consuming headache that can have serious consequences, such as employee termination for repeated incidents of failing to draw the customer’s attention to their change.”

Specifically, forgotten change can:

Lead to a cash drawer imbalance. At the end of a shift, if forgotten change is still in the cash register, it will cause the cashier’s drawer to be over what the register reports. While it may be an honest mistake, it still counts as a discrepancy that reflects poorly on the cashier’s performance.

Draw theft suspicion. Frequent overages or shortages in a cashier’s drawer can raise suspicion of theft or poor cash-handling abilities. Management receives special training in spotting patterns of discrepancies that may be a red flag for misconduct.

Cause embarrassment for customers. Having to return to the store for forgotten money can be embarrassing. The inconvenience also reflects poorly on the checkout experience, discouraging repeat business, especially if the money has been taken by someone else.

Trigger complaints and even small claims court lawsuits. On occasion, customers will file complaints with management or even in small claims court, usually over claims of several dollars not being returned.

Some of these situations are legit, but just as most stores would rather let a shoplifter walk away instead of arresting them, far too many just pay off an obvious con to save time and court costs.

‘Finders keepers, losers weepers’ doesn’t come into play

Surprisingly, over the years, when recognized while checking out at a supermarket near our home, I have been asked by cashiers, “I know that I am supposed to give forgotten money to the store manager, but what happens if I keep it? Doesn’t the law of ‘finders keepers, losers weepers’ apply to forgotten change?”

I always reply, “‘Finders keepers, losers weepers’ is not a valid legal principle for forgotten change — that includes left-behind debit and credit cards — in any state. Management has the obligation to try to return it to the owner, if that person can be located without an enormous investment of time. Often, if there is no idea who left the change behind, small amounts will simply be donated.

Caveat: Lost, forgotten or unclaimed property raises complicated legal issues that I’ll discuss in a later story ­— I promise!

And then I add, “So, if you value your job and do not want to spend some real change on hiring me to defend you for theft — because it is considered theft if you take money without trying to return it to the owner or turning it in to the store or police — here’s my business card in case you have further questions.

“I would prefer to see you working here, not sitting in the county jail.”

Dennis Beaver Practices law in Bakersfield and welcomes comments and questions from readers,
which may be faxed to (661) 323-7993,
or e-mailed to Lagombeaver1 – at – Gmail.com.

The post The Unsung Hero of Aisle 5: A Tale of Forgotten Change and Compassion at the Supermarket appeared first on Dennis Beaver.

“Recently, the insurance property adjusting firm I work for hired a brother and sister, ‘Jack and Jill,’ who are competent, but their behavior around our supervisor, who is a bully, is creating a toxic environment. They are the very definition of suck-ups.

“To avoid burnout, there is an understanding with upper management about the number of hours a week we should work, which the supervisor hates. Even though it’s clear they aren’t happy being stepped on, Jack and Jill do whatever he wants, even working entire weekends, making the rest of us look lazy.

“When they praise his drive and work ethic — openly, so we hear the compliments — I just want to puke! We are all wondering why these two are so willing to be doormats. I heard Jill whisper to her brother that the supervisor reminds her of their dad. So I am thinking, ‘They are acting like victims of domestic abuse.’

“Is there something the rest of us can read that would help in understanding the dynamics and what, if anything, we can do to help them? They do not seem to be able to just say, ‘No more,’ and people are talking about quitting this place. Thanks, ‘Leon,’ on behalf of my coworkers.”

The need to please can be related to domestic abuse

“Dennis, your reader has very good insight,” says Los Angeles-based clinical psychologist Dr. Ingrid Clayton after I read her Leon’s email. “This sounds like people who were exposed to domestic trauma, learning to please and appease an abusive parent. We call that ‘fawning.'”

Clayton is the author of Fawning: Why the Need to Please Makes Us Lose Ourselves — and How to Find the Way Back, which will be published in September.

I was sent an advanced copy of this fascinating book that shines a spotlight on why we sometimes bend over backward to please a jerk, or, as Clayton notes, “to at least get that person to leave us alone, because we are afraid.”

Saying ‘yes’ when ‘no’ is called for

We’ve all known someone who was unable to stand up to unfairness at home or on the job, who caved in, saying “yes” when “no” was called for, ultimately trying to avoid some type of feared or perceived harm by appeasing the abuser.

I’ve seen this kind of conduct often in my law practice and always wonder and sometimes even ask clients: “Why are you caving in?”

Clayton’s book helped me understand how a series of life events steals from so many people what the Cowardly Lion was searching for in The Wizard of Oz — courage.

She gives us a key to understanding this disturbing element of behavior. Fawning is an insightful read — a true eye-opener — for business majors, HR consultants, managers at all levels and families who are frustrated by actions they don’t understand.

“Dennis, fight, flight and freeze are responses to perceived physical or psychological threats,” Clayton says. “But now, we are aware of the fawn response, which can become an ingrained, harmful behavior.

“Fawning is a people-pleasing strategy to stay safe by appeasing others. And, yes, while compassion and empathy are important life qualities, excessive and unhealthy fawning often results in blurred boundaries and difficulty asserting one’s needs.”

Consequences of people-pleasing

Clayton makes clear that being a “people pleaser” 24/7 has no upside. “Continually attempting to ‘look good’ in other people’s eyes comes with a high price: Chronic fawning means you lose yourself, and that can take a serious toll on your emotional well-being and is associated with anxiety and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).”

So, if you are a fawner, what price do you pay? According to Clayton, the list includes:

• Saying “no” can be virtually impossible, as you are unable to set boundaries to requests.

• You put yourself last and the needs of others first. This eventually eats at you.

• You avoid conflict at all costs, allowing small issues to grow massively.

• As people take advantage of your apparent “yes” to all requests, you become resentful.

How friends, family and coworkers can help

I asked Clayton, “What approach can friends, family and coworkers take that might help?” She had these suggestions on what to say:

• “I’ve noticed you’re bending over backward to keep the peace with so-and-so. Are you doing okay?”

• “It seems like you’re carrying a lot of weight around here. Do you feel like you have to?”

• “Is there any way I can support you?”

“These aren’t confrontational statements,” Clayton adds. “They offer care, awareness and can help the fawner begin to reconnect with their own values and boundaries. The key is to validate their survival instinct while inviting reflection: ‘You’re doing what you need to do to get through this.’ And, ‘what do you need to feel more like you at work again?'”

After reading Fawning, I couldn’t help but think, “I wish I’d known this when I was in law school.”

Dennis Beaver Practices law in Bakersfield and welcomes comments and questions from readers,
which may be faxed to (661) 323-7993,
or e-mailed to Lagombeaver1 – at – Gmail.com.

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What do you think is the most dangerous season for drivers? Many of us would think, “Winter, of course, with snow and ice in many parts of the country.”

That’s what I thought, but was corrected by a longtime friend of this column, Sacramento, Calif.-based Sergeant Adam Barresi of the California Highway Patrol.

“Most people would choose winter,” Barresi says, “but statistically, summer months have more fatalities due to increased travel, higher speeds and more drivers on the road, including inexperienced teens.

“In the summer months, there are so many horrible accidents that result from neglected (vehicle) maintenance. If a part is aging or compromised, the extra stress of high temperatures can cause it to fail.”

As we are now in summer, it is worth asking: If an accident results from proven neglected maintenance, can the driver, as well as the vehicle’s owner, be held financially responsible?

That was “Jake’s” question.

Accidents waiting to happen

“Mr. Beaver, I am a driver for a small package delivery company that services a large area in the western United States. We bring food items to mini markets, parts to automotive repair shops, paper goods to schools and offices — if it is something that a driver can physically carry, we handle it.

“Our vans are older and small. Not all have air conditioning, and in those that do, it frequently doesn’t work. The owner’s son is now running the business and is a real cheapskate. When mechanical issues are brought to his attention, typically we hear, ‘Like your job? Then fix any small things yourself!’

“In reality, most of these vans are accidents waiting to happen, and we are worried about our personal responsibility. We live in a small town where not lots of jobs that pay this well are available, and so we keep quiet.

“But summer is here, and two vans had tire blowouts and tread separation, leading to one going off the road, but no one was hurt. The police found that the tire tread was below safety requirements, but, again, this is a small town, and they did nothing.

“Do you have any suggestions? Would drivers be liable for an accident if it were related to poor vehicle maintenance?”

Driver’s duty of care

It’s common sense that if we are going to get behind the wheel of a car or commercial vehicle, it needs to be in good and safe mechanical shape.

I can’t begin to tell you the number of heat-related vehicular accidents that our law firm handled over the years. When the clock struck summer, a spike in breakdowns/accidents occurred.

Someone was at fault — the owner and possibly the driver — by failing to properly maintain the vehicle with summer heat in mind. Extreme heat exploits existing weaknesses, and regular maintenance reduces the risk of heat-related breakdowns, including:

• Having underinflated, worn tires while driving on hot pavement increases the chance of a blowout.

• Fluid evaporation/degradation can lead to battery failure and an overheated engine.

• Hoses and belts that should have been replaced can fail due to the extra load put on them in extreme operating temperatures.

• If refrigerant is low or leaking in air conditioning systems, drivers could be left without AC when it’s the hottest, impairing their ability to drive safely due to excessive cabin heat.

What can happen when a vehicle fails in the heat?

It does not matter how new your car is, heat is a great enemy, and overlooked maintenance items that wouldn’t cause a problem any other time of the year can prove fatal in the summer heat.

Just ask any police officer who has seen the results of:

• Tire blowouts at high speeds that lead to multiple-vehicle accidents from swerving, going out of control, striking a pole or going down an embankment, injuring or even killing occupants.

• Loss of brakes on steep hills or congested roads.

• Rear-end collisions caused when an engine or transmission stalls or freezes.

When a car isn’t safe to drive and someone gets hurt because of it, it’s not just an accident — it’s negligence at least, and potentially willful, leading to punitive damages if something really bad happens.

What can employees do?

So, what can employees like Jake do if their employer neglects vehicle maintenance, creating unsafe working conditions? They can file a complaint with OSHA (Occupational Safety and Health Administration).

OSHA regulations require employers to provide a safe workplace, which includes maintaining vehicles in a safe operating condition.

Ideally, Jake and others should have a meeting with the boss and explain their concerns, but if it is futile to do so, then I would say, “File an anonymous complaint with OSHA.”

Also, consider dropping an anonymous note to the company’s workers’ compensation insurance carrier. A delivery van that is in not-so-good shape invites an accident, injuring employees and triggering workers’ compensation claims.

So a “thought you would like to know this” note should trigger an inspection and warning: Unless Uncle Miser maintains his vans, he could face much higher premiums or even cancellation.

Employers who don’t give a second thought to the welfare of their employees often pay a high price.

Dennis Beaver Practices law in Bakersfield and welcomes comments and questions from readers,
which may be faxed to (661) 323-7993,
or e-mailed to Lagombeaver1 – at – Gmail.com.

The post Neglecting Car Maintenance Could Cost You More Than a Repair, Especially in the Summer appeared first on Dennis Beaver.

Recently, I was invited to speak about navigating etiquette and work culture at the 2025 California State University Bakersfield Career Conference hosted by SHRM (Society for Human Resource Management). I’ll be presenting alongside Dr. Luis Vega, a friend of this column and dean of Social Sciences and Education. I’d also like to give a shoutout to CSUB students Kimberly Mitchell and Sarah Varela for welcoming me to the conference.

When I asked several HR consultants and hiring managers from across the country for suggestions on what to tell students, the overwhelming response was: What comes first is getting hired. They all shared some of the things they might consider when interviewing prospective job candidates.

Repeatedly, I heard that the actions that will help or hinder an applicant from getting the job are often the same behaviors that lead to success or failure at work — getting along and being polite to one another, both of which go to the very heart of etiquette and work culture.

On condition of anonymity, the HR professionals agreed to share with me how they size up job applicants, sometimes being quite blunt about the reality of job interviews today.

1. First impressions really do matter

Your tattoos, piercings and hairstyle can have an impact on whether a hiring manager will consider giving you a job. Depending on the role and the employee’s contact with customers, many employers do not care if you have visible tattoos as long as they are not offensive.

Every hiring manager I spoke with said they were turned off by certain piercings and inappropriate tattoos. They all said that if someone shows up with piercings (beyond the usual ear piercings), it is an automatic no.

Bottom line: If the job requires in-person contact with the public, the HR pros said employers will skip hiring someone whose appearance makes them seem unapproachable.

Also, if you show up to the job interview in, say, shorts and a T-shirt, you likely will not get hired. By taking care to dress professionally, you’re showing that you respect the interviewer and your potential employer.

Similarly, once you’re hired, if you will not respect company dress codes — for instance, insisting on dressing in an inappropriate way on the job — you will not stay employed. “Being yourself” is fine, but you still have to follow the rules.

2. Your actions during the interview are especially important

If you lack enthusiasm for the position you’re interviewing for or don’t thank the interviewer for seeing you, that can indicate you do not want to be there.

You should also be sure to ask the interviewer questions, such as:

What do you like most about working here?
What do you expect from a person in this position in the first 60 to 90 days?
This shows the hiring manager that you have a healthy dose of curiosity and will be able to communicate well with coworkers and management.

Maybe it shouldn’t even need to be said, but don’t talk back to the interviewer or give the impression that you think you’re running the interview.

Don’t say things like:

Why are you asking me this? Don’t you need someone, anyone, right now?
It’s just a receptionist position, so why do I need to have my tattoos covered?
How I dress doesn’t matter — I’ll be behind a computer, so no one is going to see me.
You are correct: With that kind of attitude, no one will ever see you.

3. Your online presence gets a look

Through a Google search, some interviewers will become aware of information about you such as your political views, the church you attend, who you hang out with and other issues based on your photos, chats and videos.

Some states have strict rules against hiring managers accessing this information without signed consent from the applicant, but sometimes it happens anyway. If something disqualifying is discovered, the hiring manager should disclose it to the applicant and give them the opportunity to explain. Should does not mean that this process is definitely followed.

Depending on the job and risks to the employer, employees and the public, some hiring managers feel a background check should be required. What the applicant posts online is a gateway into their mindset.

4. Worth repeating: Your social media can work against you

Once you put something online, it is out there and stays there. Be sure that your profile is set to private, but it’d be better to simply not disclose your passion about social/political issues.

If it is something you might not want a future employer to see, don’t post it. Ask yourself, “How could this hurt me months or years down the road?”

Also, don’t share information about your club memberships or special interests. The professionals I talked with noted that that info might make a hiring manager think, “Now I am aware they are in a protected class or activity, and I am not taking chances.”

Good hiring managers won’t let that info affect their decisions, but it can and does happen.

5. Your actions before the interview matter, too

The people who are not part of the interview process can still provide valuable feedback to the hiring manager. How you treat, say, the person who arranges your travel to the interview can, and likely will, get back to the hiring manager.

If you’re a jerk to the person at Reception when you check in for the interview, they might tell the interviewer, “This guy was rude to me. I am not sure he would be a good fit here.”

6. Asking the following things can turn off hiring managers

What’s the work-life balance? Instead of asking about this in your interview, research the company’s policies by visiting its website to find out if it offers such perks as flexible work hours and remote work. You can also read employees’ reviews about working at the company on sites like Glassdoor and Indeed.
If I have obligations outside of work — family or personal — can I leave work early? Asking this tells the employer that you might have too many demands outside of work that could interfere with you getting your job done. It gives the impression that you are entitled and expect the employer to work around your needs.

Some final notes

The HR professionals noted that even if you do everything right in the job interview and have the skills to do the job, you might not get hired because of profiling. People are human and have biases. They might have had a personal experience with the applicant or someone whom the applicant reminds them of, leading them to feel that, because of their past experience, this person might not be a good fit. Fair? No. But it’s human nature, though good hiring managers will genuinely try not to let their biases affect their decisions.

Also, the HR professionals noted that most companies aren’t in the business of handholding. Once you’re hired, do not expect your employer to provide nurturing or wellness. Employers are not responsible for your happiness. If you’re not happy with your life in general, you should explore options outside of work to resolve those issues.

Each of the people I interviewed had similar closing advice for what to do in job interviews: You should focus on what you bring to the table — your knowledge, skills and ability.

Dennis Beaver Practices law in Bakersfield and welcomes comments and questions from readers,
which may be faxed to (661) 323-7993,
or e-mailed to Lagombeaver1 – at – Gmail.com.

The post College Grads: This Is What Hiring Managers Are Thinking (But Won’t Admit) appeared first on Dennis Beaver.

We’ve all seen news stories where giant swarms of locusts descend on farmers’ fields and within minutes decimate their crops.

But, did you know there is a human version?

That’s right, human “locusts” devouring plate after plate, tray after tray of expensive food items at all-you-can-eat buffet restaurants, in quantities most people would consider unreasonable, and spending hours in pure gluttony.

The justification? “Well, it’s all-you-can-eat, so I’m getting my money’s worth and trying to break the buffet.”

YouTube has dozens of videos showing customers — who have annihilated trays of lobster, prime rib, sushi and other expensive proteins — with long, sad faces, seemingly shocked that the restaurant would cut them off, asking: Can they kick me out of an all-you-can-eat buffet for eating too much?

“We Are Competitive Eaters”

On Tuesday afternoon, Dec. 31, 2024, I received an urgent request to accept a WhatsApp video call from “A reader with a serious legal question.” I agreed, and at once was greeted by folks in an all-you-can-eat buffet restaurant.

“Janine” explained that she and her five friends were warming up for a competitive eating contest at a buffet restaurant. “We each pay for the buffet and then practice eating as much as we can.”

When I asked if they explained their purpose in being there before paying, she replied in an arrogant, entitled, emphatic tone of voice; “No! Why should we?”

Their camera operator sent me real time video of what I can only describe as human vacuum cleaners devouring plate after plate of expensive meat and seafood items: enormous amounts of lobster, crab, and pounds of prime rib.

They were all laughing. I wasn’t.

It reminded me of YouTube Halloween Ring Camera videos of adults with face-masks in ill-fitting costumes emptying entire bowls of candy — intended for kids — into bags and running away: Pure theft.

To me, these competitive eaters were ripping off the restaurant. The owner, on camera, said, “Stop! This isn’t the Las Vegas Bellagio buffet. What you are doing would be wrong there, but this is our family’s livelihood. You are taking so much that my customers have nothing. Get out!”

“I read your column. You help people. This is an AYCE restaurant! Can he do this?” Janine asked. Her attempted innocence and victimization didn’t fool me.

“Janine, in my legal opinion, yes, but lawyers have differing opinions. To be safe, I recommend leaving the restaurant immediately.”

Not Risk Free

Competitive eating, consuming as much as you can, as fast as you can, within a given period of time, is big business. While beyond the space limits of this article, it is important to be aware there have been several deaths during these events, as well as long term health consequences.

Also, there is a moral issue involved here.

In 2023, 13.5% of U.S. households were food insecure, having difficulty providing enough food for their members due to a lack of resources. Author Jane Oliver eloquently puts it this way:

“Competitive eating mocks struggles of the poor who worry about how to put any food on the table to feed themselves and their children. How disrespectful it is for those suffering from malnutrition in famine or drought-stricken regions to see such blatant, unnecessary gorging for the sake of ‘sport.’ These contestants make a game out of stuffing themselves to sickening levels while almost one billion don’t even have access to enough calories”

Legally, can you be kicked out?

“I could not find this issue adjudicated,” Los Angeles-based, Loyola Law School contracts law professor, Bryan Hull says, and suggests, “management should have a time limit, or language that would spell out the terms so that customers know what they are getting into. A restaurant could refuse to serve someone who has abused the system. If they sued, the damages, if any, would likely be the cost of the buffet.”

Fair Dealing and Reasonableness

I discussed this issue with New York-based attorney Catherine Pastrikos Kelly. She has written extensively on the legal issues raised in implied contracts:

“Going to a restaurant and paying for food is an implied contract, and like all contracts, there is a duty of good faith and fair dealing. This means acting in a reasonable manner.

At a buffet, even an all-you-can-eat buffet, a customer would be expected to eat what a person would reasonably eat at one meal.

“For example, it would not mean eating 30 to 40 lobsters or multiple trays of food or practice for an eating competition, for that is not what a reasonable person would do. In situations where the customer is acting outside the scope of what a reasonable person would do, management would be well within their rights to make them stop, or pay extra, and potentially, to leave the premises.”

So a sign that says “all you can eat” doesn’t mean we get to abandon all logic and human decency. Let’s enjoy ourselves within reason.

Dennis Beaver Practices law in Bakersfield and welcomes comments and questions from readers,
which may be faxed to (661) 323-7993,
or e-mailed to Lagombeaver1 – at – Gmail.com.

The post Can they kick you out of an AYCE restaurant for eating too much? appeared first on Dennis Beaver.