May 10, 2019 • By Dennis Beaver
The last thing a loving grandmother could ever imagine is being falsely accused by her grandson of molesting him. Grandparents are supposed to love and spoil their grandchildren. It is one of the greatest feelings you can ever have, to see that product of the love you had for your spouse so many years ago, now happily wandering around your home, saying, “Grandma, grandpa, play with me!”
But that is precisely what a family who resides on California’s coast near San Diego could wake up facing one day. Let me tell you about them.
“Rugged, Outdoorsman and Controlling
“Debbie” met “Steve” when she was in nursing school, falling for his good looks and rugged, outdoorsman demeanor. He was a hunting guide, taking small groups of well-to-do professionals into the Northern California wilderness. Married after six months of dating, she soon discovered a controlling alcoholic, but remained with him for years. They have a son, Chad, now eleven.
It was a nasty divorce. Debbie was awarded physical custody. Steve refuses to pay child support, but as her parents are both financially well off, she leaves him alone and accepts thousands of dollars from mom and dad each month. Debbie has been and will likely always be mommy and daddy’s little girl, weak, never really allowed to grow up and become an adult, solving her own problems.
Chad loves his father and would like to live with him, despite Steve’s disobeying court orders, bad-mouthing mom and her parents. He wants custody of Chad. It is an ugly situation which got uglier after Debbie recently married Ricardo, another work of art.
One day Chad was home alone with Ricardo and Steve phoned, telling his son, “Call 911 and tell the cops that Ricardo drug you by your hair upstairs!”
Of course it wasn’t true, but, wanting to please dad, Chad placed that call and out came the police. Eventually he admitted to lying. To the family law attorneys I ran these facts by, this eleven year old, “has demonstrated a propensity to lie and is real trouble waiting to happen.”
Debbie’s choice of Ricardo as husband No. 2 was as bad as with Steve. He is lazy–un- employed–with a wealthy mother who gives him $5,000 monthly in spending money.
However, the picture got much more interesting when Debbie happened to mention that, as a little girl, she saw her father on a few occasions, after taking a shower, walk naked to his bedroom to get dressed. “Once, while dad was tutoring me in math, I saw him scratch his private parts,” she tells Ricardo, to which he replied, “You were molested! I know you were!”
It is clear that husband #2 isn’t just lazy, but he is a dangerous head-case as well.
“Beddy-bye time with Grandma”
Family law attorneys are in a unique position to see the future, and it is a sad one for eleven-year old Chad – who has had his own psychologist for years! As the little boy and his mom reside in the same town as her parents, at least twice a week he spends the night with them and sleeps with grandma!
That’s right. He is eleven and sleeps with his grandmother, because, as grandpa stated, “He feels more secure that way and my wife truly loves our grandson.”
I should point out that the grandparents live in a 4,000 square foot home with four unoccupied bedrooms.
One Long Beach, California family law specialist I spoke with commented, “Children are highly suggestible and want to please adults–especially parents and step-parents. Given that this eleven-year-old boy has once told a serious lie to please his father, there is little doubt that he will repeat the same behavior for the step-father, when, not if, but when Ricardo accuses grandma of molesting him.”
He added, “This is plain sick, and the whole family is screwing up this poor kid.”
“To say the least, it is troublesome,” commented Hanford family law L. J. “I have never heard of an eleven year old boy sleeping with his grandmother!”
A Psychologist’s Recommendation
“Chad needs to be weaned off of this sleeping arrangement with his grandmother,” Los Angeles-based child psychologist “Dr. Julie” immediately replied when I asked her for an opinion.
“This is not a healthy relationship, and it is likely that the people who have been the closest to Chad his entire life are the grandparents. At home he experienced the trauma of mom’s failed first marriage, and perhaps a second is on the way.
“So a refuge is cuddling with grandma. But the risk of being accused of molesting the boy far outweighs any benefit of continuing this sleeping arrangement,” she concluded.
Dennis Beaver practices law in Bakersfield and enjoys hearing from his readers. Contact Dennis Beaver.