DennisBeaverApril 13, 2018 • By Dennis Beaver 

In their 1969 album, The Age of Aquarius, The Fifth Dimension achieved a major hit with songwriter Laura Nyro’s “Wedding Bell Blues.” It tells the story of a woman whose boyfriend has not yet proposed to her, and wonders, “Am I ever going to see my wedding day?”

It is a timeless song for anyone in a loving relationship going nowhere and sends a clear message; “I need the commitment that only marriage can provide.”

Now, before reading further, to visually get in the mood for this article, if you’ve got a computer near-by, or can access the internet with your cellphone, please Google “The Fifth Dimension Wedding Bell Blues,” turn on your speakers or wear a headset and step into a wedding venue, and watch a very cute video.

‘We had to settle on August 8th 2018 for our wedding’

“After going together for over 5 years, we were stuck with Wednesday, August 8th 2018 as the day for our wedding, “Marika and Danny” told You and the Law. To their surprise, while they began their search for a venue in January, the middle of the week was the only choice available in August.

“We were extremely naive,” Marika admitted. “Even though the event would be six months away, finding a suitable location for our expected 150 guests was impossible in our area if we wanted a weekend since every wedding hall we called was booked up for over a year.”

Finally, they signed a contract with “The Palace” without doing any online research. Had they done so, the following recent comments from unlucky clients of the Palace might have given our readers reason to change their wedding date:

(1) Save yourself the time and stress. They were double-booked and knew that our date had already been reserved for a month, yet made no effort to contact us to tell us about their mistake.

(2) If I could I would give it a minus star! So disappointed with the way they conduct business. They will tell you one thing today and something different tomorrow!

(3) Horrible, absolutely worse owner/manager ever. Unprofessional and money hungry. Thank goodness my family and friends didn’t notice the lack of professionalism!

(4) DO NOT BOOK THIS VENUE! I paid a cleaning deposit of $150 and was still asked to clean tables and empty all trash cans. No type of credit received!! And they DO NOT provide heat in the building on winter nights, so if you use facility, go with blankets.

Those were just a sampling of the comments, all of which we discovered and brought to our readers’ attention. But wait. It gets worse.

‘We aren’t responsible for anything – You’ll love our cancellation clause’

“A contract was handed to us, we were given no time to read it, but signed, feeling we had no choice as we had sent out ‘Save the Date’ announcements to everyone.”

Had the couple done so – and been aware of what they were about to get themselves into – you might not have this story to read.

You and the Law has never seen such a bizarre facilities rental agreement which attempts to excuse itself from all liability, stating, “You are renting our hall as is – with all faults.”

There is no statement of what is being provided – just what the clients owe.

Under “Cancellation” the following language appears: “You may cancel this Agreement at any time within (3) days at no cost. After three days, you will be charged 100% of the rental cost and receive no refund.”

Recall that their wedding was to be in August, a full six months away. 5 days after signing, our readers realized they had made a terrible mistake and notified the hall, in writing, of their intention to cancel. Of course, “The manager” refused any refund.

This unleashed a torrent of texts and cell calls, the contents of which we cannot print, except for one, and if you like “fake” news, this one’s a doozy.

We call and speak with the manager

On March 21st, we phoned The Palace, spoke with “The Manager” and asked about booking–you guessed it – August 8th for a birthday party. Same hours as our readers had reserved. Did he tell us, “Sorry, that’s reserved but I will see what I can do?” No. Of course not. That date was fine, and then lights must have gone on somewhere in his mind.

“I know what you are doing! Who are you?”

“I’m a lawyer and a newspaper columnist.” was my reply.

Moment later, he sent this text to Danny: “Your fake lawyer called me and it didn’t work. I am a lot smarter than that.”

He sure fooled me.

Dennis Beaver practices law in Bakersfield and enjoys hearing from his readers. Contact Dennis Beaver.